I was speaking at a MOPS group this week, and one of the moms asked me a great question. She asked, “How do I communicate to my kids, that sex is great within marriage, when all they’ve been hearing is, don’t do it, sex is bad?”
What an important question. Our kids receive so many mixed messages about sex; from “don’t’ do it”, to “do it with anyone”. It is easy to feel like we don’t have a chance, but I choose to believe that family is the most important influence to our kids. Whether our kids admit it or not, they are watching us. They are watching how we treat each other, how we speak to each other, how we play together, and how we touch each other. I remember watching my grandparent’s help each other in and out of the car, and hold hands as they sat side by side. I remember how they would look at each other, and I remember the tone of their voice when they spoke to each other; you just knew they loved each other.
No one has a perfect marriage, and we’ve all had times we could have done better, but God is a God of new beginnings. He can heal past hurts and he can help us forgive. It is by God’s power that we can love our husbands in all their imperfections, and today is a new day.
Your mission is to make sure your kids know that sex within marriage is worth waiting for. In some way, make sure that they know that your marriage and your time connecting is a priority. It may be that they see you holding hands or kissing, or that you go to bed early and lock the door, or it may be a conversation that you have with your kids. And if you don’t have kids, know that someone else may be watching you and thinking to themselves, “ is that what I want when I get married?”
I will be teaming up with Annie Waterman, PCC youth pastor, to teach a class to single women, 18 and older in May. The first night will be helping them understand God’s intention for sex, and the second night will be spent sharing how they stay pure and how do they choose a spouse. Please watch the schedule for details soon.
I pray that your marriage would look different to the world because it is different.