In order to experience the kind of freedom that leads to great sex, we must feel absolutely safe. Sex is this amazing journey of revealing the most intimate parts of our mind, body and soul and it can be terrifying and thrilling at the same time. We must trust ourselves enough to let our bodies lead us, and we must trust our spouse enough to let them see us.
Trusting yourself has to lead back to your sense of self. It is dependent on our self-esteem and our sense of worth, and in a way, a reflection of who we believe God is. Do you believe that God created you exactly as you are? Do you believe that He knows every hair on your head and He created your body to experience amazing pleasure? Do you believe that God thinks that you are absolutely beautiful? Do you believe that he has a plan for you and that you can surrender to Him? If you do, then you can absolutely trust yourself and allow your body to follow the path that it takes you on.
Trusting your spouse is something that hopefully grows with time. When our spouse shows us that they will treat us respectfully, gently and sensitively, trust is built. Part of the reason sex in marriage should be so much greater than sex outside of marriage is because of the trust that we have built together over the years. If you don’t trust your spouse, you need to ask yourself why. Sometimes they may not even realize that something they have done has hurt our feelings, or closed us up. We need to gently communicate how they can help us feel safe. We also need to be careful to not be oversensitive. Sometimes I feel like a sea anemone: those funny sea creatures that live in the tide pools. They gradually open up to let their tentacles wave in the tide, but one little poke, and they instantly close up. I can be like that sometimes and it is not a pretty thing. Everything will be going along fine, and then I will misinterpret one little thing that will cause me to instantly close myself up, in protection mode. If experience has shown you that you can trust your spouse, then we need to stop being so sensitive.
Your mission this week is to build trust with your spouse. Have your spouse blind fold you and trust where he takes you.