I just got home from a High School Adventure Trip to the mountains in Canada that was an incredible week of hiking, climbing, caving and enjoying God’s creation. It was also 10 days away from my husband, my kids and my bed and I was dead tired, but one of the things I looked forward to most was reconnecting with my husband in a very physical way, if you know what I mean.
I haven’t always been so good at “welcome home sex”. I remember times when my husband would travel for work, and in order to survive, I would just emotionally shut down. By the time he got home, I had everything in order, but I had also put up a wall towards him. I didn’t welcome him home with open arms or an appetite for him. I made him pay his dues and ever so slowly allowed myself to open back up. I look back at those times and think, how much nicer it would have been if I could have just leaped into his arms and wrapped myself around him.
So how do we make “welcome home sex” what it is supposed to be?
Don’t let Resentment Build – If you or your husband needs to travel for work, it can be a real bummer, especially if you have young kids. Make sure that you take care of yourself and treat yourself to some extra care when he is away. Maybe hire a sitter for a night out with the girls or splurge on some meals out. Know that he is doing what he needs to do to support you and make your home a place that he can’t wait to get home to.
Stay Connected – Phone, internet, letter – do what ever it takes to stay connected. Even though there was no phone or internet service in Canada, I wrote a letter to my husband with good old pen and paper. It was actually one of the first things he mentioned when I got home. Writing letters to each other is an amazing way to connect. I’ve got letters that he has written to me that I pull out and read over and over, so get out that pen and paper.
Allow yourself to daydream – It wasn’t until several days into the trip that I allowed myself to daydream about my husband in a very physical way. God gave us an amazing imagination for a reason, and when we are away from our spouse, one of the ways that we keep the fire burning, is to let our minds go there. We can daydream about what our reunion will look like, what we would like to do to them, or what we want them to do to us, and then share those ideas when we reunite.
Be Sensitive about timing – Welcome home sex is not always that “rip your clothes off sex” that you might see in the movies. Sometimes one of you needs a shower or a nap, or just a little time to unwind.
But when the time is right, don’t hold back. Let him know how much you’ve missed him and been thinking of him. Fulfill some of those fantasies that you have allowed yourself to enjoy while you were apart and “drink your fill”.
Your mission this week is to allow yourself to fantasize about your husband during the day. Think about something that you would like to do to him, picture it, plan it and then make it happen.