I’ve been reading the book” Masters of Sex” that chronicles the life of William Masters and Virginia Johnson who revolutionized sex in the 1960’s. Previous to their studies, even doctors knew absolutely nothing about the actual physiology of sex, especially for women. If wives went to their ob/gyn with a question, they were simply given a hug and told that everything would be ok. In fact, Master’s and Johnson’s initial medical articles on sex were scorned because not even doctors dared to talk about sex.
Masters and Johnson monitored and observed over 10,000 orgasms resulting from self-stimulation or intercourse over a period of 10 years. They studied heart rates, pulse, changes in coloration, breath rates and even made a camera to observe what happens inside the vagina. It is doubtful that a study will ever be allowed again of this magnitude.
One of the studies most important, exhaustively detailed findings was the amazing capabilities and responsiveness of the female body. Descriptions and illustrations were provided that acted as a road map for unraveling the mysteries of loving a woman. Limits were blown away as women were observed that were multi-orgasmic or that experienced extended orgasms. No longer were women allocated to simply fulfill the needs of their husband, but they were deemed sexual beings that rivaled men.
It is amazing to think about how much things have changed since the 1950’s, and yet we still have a long way to go. Women of the 1950’s had absolutely no information and were lucky if they figured out how to enjoy sex with their husband. Now, there is a ton of information if we are willing to find it – some good, some not so good. But even with all this information, we still struggle because of conditions generations have been put on women that are hard to shake off.
The real question is – do we believe we deserve to enjoy sex? Did God really intend for wives to enjoy and need sex as much as husbands, – and are we willing to redefine sex, so that it is not based on what works for men, but what works for both of us? Do we need to have an orgasm every time, or are we still saying, “ I just enjoy connecting and being close”, so that we are both off the hook for doing the hard work of figuring things out.
I hope you will join me the next few months as I write a series titled ‘The sex You want”. We are going to dive deep and leave no rock unturned.