Oral Delight

Song of Songs 4:16

Awake, north wind, and come south wind!

Blow on my garden that its fragrance may spread abroad.

Let my love come into his garden and taste its choice fruits

fruit

One of the most intimate ways you can allow your husband to “know you”, is through oral sex. Your husband will see, feel, and even taste you in ways that he has never experienced before.  If you surrender and allow yourself to just receive from you husband, you will experience some of the most delicious orgasms possible.

Oral sex is one of the most successful ways for women to experience clitoral orgasms for many reasons. Our genital tissue is so sensitive that it can be like touching an eyeball – one little grain of sand, (or hangnail) – and it quickly screams with pain. That is why the tongue is such an incredible instrument. It is warm, wet, smooth and completely void of rough spots. It can move in amazing ways, not limited by the restriction of hinged joints. And an added bonus – using the tongue frees up his hands for stroking breasts, nipples, thighs and even massaging the G-spot. What an amazing tool that God has given to our husbands for our delight.

So why do so many women struggle to allow themselves to really enjoy oral sex?

It begins with our mind. Do we really believe oral sex is ok with God? Actually, do we really believe that oral sex is great with God? Take a stroll through Song of Songs, God’s manual on marital intimacy. It is filled with sensuous smells, tastes and adoration of each other’s bodies, and they lived it with abandon. This couple thoroughly enjoys each other with a freedom that few of us allow ourselves. Don’t put up walls that God did not intend.

If you have past experiences that have tainted your view of oral sex, you need to know that God is a God that can heal anything – even that. Don’t hold onto it as an excuse for living in a very small world. God wants us to live in wide open spaces and enjoy all that He has given us.

Many times women in class express their concern that their husbands really don’t want to be down there. We worry that we smell bad or taste bad. For starters, show the same consideration for your husband that you want, by slipping into the shower for a quick freshen up. Then, rather than worrying about whether your husband wants to be down there, ask him. Most husbands love to give their wives pleasure and it is a thrill to get to know you in that way. And when they tell you that they love it, believe them.

One of the challenges of receiving oral sex, is just that, receiving. While our husbands don’t seem to have any trouble, laying back and relaxing does not come naturally to us. Our heads are filled with what we ought to be doing, and worrying about our husbands having to work so hard. Sex needs to be a balance of serving and receiving. Would you like it if your husband continually gave you gifts but would never receive a gift from you? Be a blessing to your husband by letting him give to you.

Recently, as I find myself wanting to be more present and connected in sex, I struggle with the physical distance between us during oral sex –  funny that I don’t feel that way when I am treating my husband. Anyway, some of the things that have helped me stay connected are maintaining eye contact. Even during oral sex? Yep. I also need to feel his hands supporting my body, in a sense anchoring me -letting me know that he has me, and I can let go.

Ladies can you trust your husband, let go of the reins, lay back and just receive? Can you enjoy all that God has given us – tastes, smells, touches – to the fullest? Live in wide open spaces, God loves you that much.

Next Monday, I will share a detailed outline to help men love their wives with oral sex based on Ian Kerner’s book “She Comes First – the thinking man’s guide to pleasuring a woman”.

Comments 6

  1. Very insightful observations about both men and women. As hard as I try, I cannot understand this wandering of the mind afflicting women I hear repeatedly spoken of on blogs. Perhaps women should take (you might teach upon) some courses on mindfulness or meditation to aid them in clearing and focusing their minds. Have you ever read any of the writings of David Schnarch, PhD. In his book, Intimacy & Desire, he devotes chapter 14 to oral sex which is written not so much as a “how to” as a “why to” and in “what way to.” If you have not read it or any of his work, I encourage you to do so. As a Christian, do not be put off by his approach to the evolution of sex. If you do, you will be throwing out the baby with the bath water and missing much of value.
    http://www.amazon.com/Intimacy-Desire-David-Schnarch-ebook/dp/B005C4XVW8/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1415928724&sr=1-3&keywords=david+schnarch

    You will hear him talk about the Sexual Crucible often in that book. To truly understand it, you need to read his book, Passionate Marriage. I think you will find both very enjoyable reads as well as educational.
    http://www.amazon.com/Passionate-Marriage-Intimacy-Committed-Relationships-ebook/dp/B005V1ZJCW/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1415928724&sr=1-1&keywords=david+schnarch

    Stay the course, Ruth.

    • I have read several of Schnarch’s books and am a big fan. I believe that many of his concepts are applicable to the kind of sex God desires for us – actually connecting and getting to “know” each other. He is awfully hard to read though.

  2. For years, we girls are plagued monthly with something that makes us feel dirty and messy, we’re aware of its odor and TERRIFIED of it coming through our pants. For me, even though I had a partial hysterectomy a dozen years ago and haven’t had a period since, I can’t get over a husband, or men in general, wanting to put their mouths there. Goodness, we even urinate from that area. I trust my husband when he says he wants to make me feel good and furthermore that he “HAS” to (as in, he wants to and can’t help himself: that part I don’t truly buy–LOL). I ask him about it, and he tries to explain, but I’ll never understand it. All I’m left with is to trust him. That’s what’s so lovely about being married when experiencing things that seem ‘odd’ or scary to us–only inside of marriage can you leave all to reckless abandon, never feeling an ounce of guilt or regret. Couples who engage in this outside of marriage don’t know what they’re missing (and, to be fair, I was one of them … so I DO know what I was missing: the security of unconditional love).

    • Traycee,
      Thanks for sharing the importance of trust in a marriage – especially when it comes to sex. As far as germs in our vulva – I have read that we actually have a lot more germs in our mouth, than in our vulva. Urine is actually a sterile solution. That is why we urinate after sex to prevent an infection. It cleans out all the germs from interaction with our husband. LOL We don’t grow up thinking about our bodies like that, do we? We grow up thinking they are dirty and untouchable. Your body is God’s amazing creation and it is a gift to share it with your husband.
      Blessings, Ruth

  3. Thank you for your affirmation, Ruth. No, we certainly don’t grow up feeling good about our bodies’ processes and functions. Pity. Maybe, as we lose our needless ‘Victorian’ hang ups (even as God-blessed, sexual, loving married couples) our Christian young women will grow up knowing what miracles, all of them, all parts of them, are.

  4. Hard as it may seem to some women, most husbands really love giving their wives oral sex. If your husband says he wants to do it, believe him. I would feel terribly deprived if my wife wouldn’t let me do this to her. Happily, she loves it. If you are worried about odor, take a shower beforehand.

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