If I discovered a magic position that all women would experience an orgasm during intercourse, then I would be a millionaire. I wish it were that simple. No magic position exists, but as we get to know ourselves and each other, we can learn to move in ways that target pleasure spots.
There are really only a handful of different positions but modifying them in small ways can make a huge difference in how they stimulate our bodies. Recognizing which pathway we are trying to stimulate – clitoral, G-spot, or Deep spot – will help us capitalize on the kind of movement that works best. Let’s approach this according to which pathway we are targeting. For the purpose of keying into what feels good, I would suggest that you limit other stimulation for the time being.
Although this article could be helpful for anyone, it is part of a series “How to have an orgasm during intercourse”. If you are working towards that goal, please make sure that you read my previous articles The Big Question, His and Her Kegels, Talk about What?, Flexibility Training, Different Pathways, The Man Factor, and Mind over Matter
The two best positions for clitoral stimulation during intercourse are WOT (woman on top) and CAT (coital alignment technique).
One of the reasons that WOT is so effective is because we have more control over the movement. If you want to stimulate your clitoris when you are on top, then you need to make contact with his pelvis. Your vulva should fully press against his body. To bring your clitoris into play even more, tip your pelvis forward or lean your whole body forward. This has the added benefit of putting your breast into perfect position for fondling or sucking. Sometimes spreading your legs this far apart to fully engage his body can be hard on your hips, so add a pillow under his butt to elevate him. Think about feeling him and allowing him to feel you. Simulate the movement that feels good to your clitoris during manual stimulation. It may be up and down, or circles, or pulsing, whatever works for you. Take your time and don’t feel rushed. One of the best illustrations of the effectiveness of this position can be found on The Marriage Bed.
CAT is really just a variation of missionary position.The man enters and then shifts his body up towards his wife’s head so that his shaft is actually wrapped over her vulva and across her clitoris. Instead of elevating his body with his arms, he lowers his body just enough so that he does not put too much weight on her. The motion is not a thrusting in and out of the penis, but a rocking up and down. You will need to play around to figure out what works well, so direct his movement by placing your hands on his butt or hips. Some women like to have their legs lifted in order to more fully engage their husband’s body against theirs. Women that orgasm easier with their legs together can, one at leg at a time, shift their legs to the inside of their husbands. Some women enjoy the feeling of being fully pinned against the bed by not using a pillow under their head.
It is important in either of these positions that you engage your pelvis and kegels as it will increase tension and buildup to orgasm. Don’t be afraid to experiment with position or motion to enjoy clitoral stimulation during intercourse.
The three best positions for G-Spot stimulation are WOT, Missionary, and Doggy Style. Remember that the G-spot is on the front wall of the vagina, only about 1-2 inches in, and responds to firm pressure passing across it. During intercourse the penis must press into the g-gpot, so aim for the front wall of the vagina. Move slowly enough that the penis might actually feel the bulging of the g-spot.
To stimulate the G-spot during WOT, the woman’s body must be upright or even arched back so that the head of his penis hits her front wall. It is not important that thrusting is deep, but that the penis is pulled almost all the way out each stroke. Think about creating the sensation of pressing into the spots that feels best.
During missionary, stimulation of the G-spot can be accomplished a couple of ways. The wives legs can be lifted and over his shoulders, feet against his chest or just held up in the air to tip her hips up and direct his penis against the g-spot. You can also elevate her bottom on several pillows or a wedge, while he kneels between her legs. The goal is a concentrated energy against her g-spot. Think what kind of speed feels good during manual and emulate it. Again, shallow thrusting will best stimulate the g-spot.
The final position that works well to stimulate the G-spot is the doggy position. Because the wife has a lot of freedom in changing the angle of her hips and she can raise or lower herself with her arms, she can find just the right angle to hit the spot. The strength that a husband can move against the G-spot in doggy position is also a big plus.
G-spot is all about feeling each other below skin level and concentrated energy.
The best positions for Deep spot are WOT and Missionary, but any position that lends itself to deep penetration fits the bill. Remember one of the keys is to have your wife highly aroused so that you do not bang into her cervix. This pathway, which is very similar to G-spot, loves firm pressure.
It is no surprise that women love WOT for Deep spot stimulation because they can fine tune the location of deep penetration to avoid the cervix. A confident wife can enjoy the energy of full engagement and driving the point home during Deep spot stimulation.
In the Missionary position, it is important to lift the woman’s legs to allow full penetration.
Since the Deep spot responds to firm pressure and is located at the end of the vagina, movements can range from a passionate pounding or banging to a sensuous merging and pressing into. Don’t get lost in the movement but instead focus on feeling her to the depth of her being.
Understanding our bodies and the pathways to enjoyment during intercourse can help us to tweak positions and movements that lead to even greater pleasure. Don’t become so focused on the mechanics that you lose connection with your spouse. Stay present with each other and feel beyond the surface of the skin as you open yourselves up to each other.
Next week I finish this series with Great Expectations