Song of Songs 3:1-5
3 All night long on my bed
I looked for the one my heart loves;
I looked for him but did not find him.
2 I will get up now and go about the city,
through its streets and squares;
I will search for the one my heart loves.
So I looked for him but did not find him.
3 The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
“Have you seen the one my heart loves?”
4 Scarcely had I passed them
when I found the one my heart loves.
I held him and would not let him go
till I had brought him to my mother’s house,
to the room of the one who conceived
5 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires
Who is the man that your heart loves? Who is the man that you fell head over heals in love with? Who is the man that God created your husband to be?
Our husbands are not perfect. When we fall in love we see them through rose colored glasses. We notice and dribble over all the small ways that they love us, and if they show us any junk, we are happy to let it slide away, virtually unnoticed.
Then reality hits, and we see their grumpiness when work affects them. We grumble about their lack of planning and foresight. We silently lament their lack of leadership as we change every small decision that they make because we have a better idea. And when defensiveness hits, we immediately make it about us, rather than realizing that they bring their own insecurities into marriage.
It is time for us to “Look for the one our heart loves.” We need to put on glasses that are not rose colored glasses, but holy glasses. Glasses that will help us to see our husband as Jesus sees him. Glasses that see his hurts and insecurities and extends compassion and grace. Glasses that will show us the man that God created him to be, and that can inspire him and affirm him to be that man. We need to be wives that when our husbands mess up, can say, “I know you are a better man, I’ve seen it. I know life is hard, but I forgive you and I am cheering for you.”
1. Spend some time thinking about your husbands past baggage, how he grew up, and the pressures and disappointments as a kid. Think about the pressure and responsibility he carries as the leader of your household. Extend compassion to your husband this week.
2. Spend some time thinking about the man that God created your husband to be. Picture the best in him, and realize that God wants even more for him. This week speak God’s truth over your husband in who he is in Christ.
3. Affirm your husband in spiritual growth, Godly character growth or leadership growth. Look for small ways that your husband has stretched or even tried to stretch. Step back and let him lead in even small ways, with no attitude, no judging and no resentment.