I probably know too much…
I hear the pain of a bride that saved herself until marriage, met the man of her dreams, fell in love, and fully gave herself to him. I hear the pain of finding out her young husband isn’t all that interested in sex because years ago he had been seduced by the images in pornography. He would rather spend time with a screen than learn how to love his wife.
I hear the pain of a young mom once again answering to the effects of sexual abuse at the hands of her uncle. She thought she had dealt with it, but the pain in her voice and tears on her face say something else. Now with young children, the burden of protecting them rips open her wound in a new place.
I hear the cries of a generation growing up where living together before marriage is the answer to growing up in a broken home. Marriage is reserved as a capstone after experiencing as much of life as you can before settling down to the boring regimen of marriage to raise a family.
I hear the regret of the girl that succumbed to the power of turning a man’s head by using her body to feel loved, desired and needed. Struggling to find freedom with the man that God has now bound her to in marriage, she repents and asks God to erase the memories and make her new.
I hear the pain of growing up in a generation where watching porn as a couple is normal. Instead of making sex better by increasing intimacy, you make sex better by adding some new thrill or even person.
I hear the pain of living in a world where even pictures from phones can be photo shopped to remove your wrinkles and blemishes. No longer are you just comparing yourself to the stars in the magazines, but to your friends posting on Facebook.
Our world is a different world than it was just one generation ago. When I was in first grade, a young friend showed me her dad’s Playboy magazine stash in their garage. Today, a young friend at the click of a button can introduce a child to an entire world of live streaming seduction that yearns to be satisfied by more, more, more… When I was in high school, I’m not sure I knew what a homosexual was. Today, kids are making choices about their sexual orientation and testing the waters while they are still in middle school. The statistics on sexual abuse for both girls and boys is staggering, and what is even more revolting is how much of it happens at the hands of a friend or family member.
Our world is changing faster than it ever has, and yet there is one thing that has not changed in over 2000 years, our hope in Jesus Christ. God’s word is truth, He is a good God. God can heal and redeem us and He can make us new.
God calls us to bring light to the world. That light is His truth, but it also is His grace and mercy. We need to be His hands and His feet. We need to bring truth to the next generation, but we also need to bring hope. We need to communicate how good marriage and sex can be when we live by His design. We need to enter into people’s pain, extend grace, pray for them and proclaim the healing power of God with absolute faith and conviction. We need to personally invest time and resources to strengthen marriages.
We cannot sit around and expect the church or someone else to take care of it, or that it will just go away. We are talking about your kids, their spouses and your grandkids.
What can you do?
- Educate yourself by reading books on marriage, sex and pornography.
- Find a young couple to mentor.
- Start a marriage small group and instead of inviting close friends, invite 5 young couples.
- Offer to baby sit once a month for a young couple that needs to go on a date.
- Lead a woman’s bible study using a book like Intimate Issues.
- Lead a men’s bible study using a book like Every Man’s Battle.
- Start a marriage ministry at your church to provide teaching and fun events for couples.
- Share your marriage struggles and triumphs with others.
- Start an engaged ministry or young married ministry at your church.
- Take an Awaken Love class over skype and start teaching classes in your area.
- Start a group for people struggling in pornography.
- Start a support group for spouses of those struggling in pornography.
The church is not supposed to be a place that we come once we have everything figured out. The church is supposed to be a place for broken people and broken marriages. We are all broken in some way, and if we are not willing to show our own brokenness, how can we expect anyone else to be real. The only way to minister to others is to start by getting naked ourselves, so be real, be prayerful, and see what God does.
So what are you doing and what are you going to do?