Song of Songs 6:4-5
4 You are as beautiful as Tirzah, my darling,
as lovely as Jerusalem,
as majestic as troops with banners.
5 Turn your eyes from me;
they overwhelm me.
Turn your eyes from me; they overwhelm me.
Do we realize how powerful the eyes are?
Song of Songs is filled with eye to eye contact because it is a powerful way to connect. When you are trying to interpret whether you child is telling the truth you make them look you in the eye. When you are discerning whether a friend is really fine or if they are raw with struggle, you search their eyes. When I am retreating from my husband, he pulls my face towards him to capture my eyes. He knows that if I look at his eyes, I won’t have a chance. I will simply crumble into him.
The eyes are filled with power and they communicate even when we cannot find the words.
One of my favorite books on marriage by Ed Wheat M.D. is Love Life for every married couple. It is as old as the hills and yet it is profoundly true. His advice to newlyweds based on Deuteronomy 24:5 is to not have a TV in the home for the first year of marriage. That advice translated to today’s world would be do not have a screen – TV, computer, video game, ipad, or smart phone – in the home for the first year of marriage.
Pretty radical! Right?
But can you imagine all the fun you would have together without all those distractions? And can you imagine how much eye to eye contact you would have without all those screens? We have to start setting some boundaries with our screens so that we still see each other. Having regular eye to eye contact with your spouse will change your relationship.
This Week –
1. Have a discussion with your spouse and make an agreement to create a screen free zone from 8 pm to 8 am every day for one week and see what difference it makes.
2. Several times this week try to capture your spouses attention by simply connecting eye to eye.
3. Open your eyes during kissing and connect through the eyes.
4. Dare to open your eyes during sex and see each other.