There came a time in my life when in order for me to believe that my husband loved all of me, I wanted him to actually see all of me – even my vulva. I wanted him to not just know my vulva with his hands or his mouth – but with his eyes.
There is a huge contrast between the typical experience of a woman touching a man, and a man touching a woman.
When a woman touches a man’s penis, it is completely normal for both husband and wife to watch what is happening – in fact I would say it is almost hard to ignore. It is like this show that demands their full attention until the fireworks fly. It is mesmerizing and amazing and everyone knows it.
But when a man touches a women’s vulva, it is normal for both husband and wife to be completely visually disconnected from what is going on. He kisses her and embraces her, and secretly slips a hand between her legs. Nobody talks about it or looks and they barely acknowledge that it is happening besides the occasional uncomfortable attempt at guidance or direction. It is just some anonymous thing that happens between her legs, while the real attention is lavished in more acceptable places. There is no grand finale to be eagerly watched for or anticipated from her vulva, but it is the more subtle clues of ecstasy that are awaited.
Contrary to what is commonly believed, maybe mostly by ourselves, our bodies are amazing. And though changes during arousal are not as obvious, a careful student of his wife will notice engorgement, physical changes and even color changes. So maybe sometimes a husband ought to enjoy the show up close and personal and give his wife a sensual play by play of the amazing show that he sees and feels.
Tell your wife that you want to get to know her body more and that you would like to watch as you arouse her with your hands and take her over the top. Set up soft lights, and warm the room to make her comfortable. Have her gently spread her legs as you kneel between them. Keep your free hand on her legs or body to hold her steady and connected. Take her in with your eyes as you work your magic with your hands.For variety try a thumb or palm. Smile at her once in a while, voice your pleasure as you enjoy her pleasure, and
let her know just how amazed you are.