I have this theory that most people who grow up in the church know that God created sex and that it is good. But when it comes down to actually enjoying sex, they in essence leave Him on the other side of the bedroom door. They quickly close the door, slide the deadbolt, and try to just forget God is even in the house.
It as if we cannot love God and enjoy sex at the same time. God may have created sex, He may want me to enjoy it, but surely He doesn’t want to know what we are doing in here. Because this sex thing – it is worldly, it is physical, it is erotic – and it is very separate from God. So we sneak around, feeling guilty if we enjoy it, and at church we pretend like sex does not even exist.
But the truth is God did create sex. He created our body – every crevice, flap of skin, or hidden pleasure. He created our mind, our eroticism and our creativity. We need to keep our minds pure and not feed them garbage, and then we need to allow ourselves to enjoy all that He wants us to enjoy with our spouse.
So how do we bring God into our marriage bed?
I think it starts with our mindset. To actually believe that God didn’t just create sex, but that He is pleased when we enjoy each other, and that He blesses it.
For me, it is very similar to experiencing the presence of God during church. There are times when you might show up at church to get it done. You come and leave, and you are so busy, you don’t even notice God. There are other times when you just sink into Him. Whether it is during worship, or prayer, or through His Word, you know He is there, and He speaks to your soul. There may be times when His presence is so heavy, so tangible, that you can hardly move – because you don’t want to leave.
During sex, I don’t think God is sitting there watching every little thing we do and evaluating it. But I think similar to sinking into the presence of God when we worship, we can sink into the presence of God when we in essence worship during sex. There is an awareness and a stillness that is palpable. There is a covering that envelopes us and takes us out of ourselves and into God’s protection and that allows for a freedom and a playfulness we would not experience otherwise. God takes us to a place where there is no shame, no insecurities, no body image issue – it is a taste of the Garden of Eden. As we revel in each other, I imagine God watching on with a huge grin on His face, the grin of a father that is watching his child enjoy the best toy he has ever given him.
I think God also weeps when sex is hard. He knows this world we live in creates all kinds of hurdles for us to enjoy sex like He intended. He knows that our selfish, self-centered selves will have to battle to learn to truly serve each other and during that growth it will hurt. He knows that He made our bodies tricky and that we become easily frustrated because of preconceived ideas of what sex is supposed to look like. He knows all of that – and He watches on like a dad letting a child struggle through the first weeks of school – when all you can do is hold your child as they coming running into your arms off the bus. It is hard, and He weeps, but He knows that what is on the other side is so worth it.
Besides changing your mindset by wrestling with what you believe about God and sex, I think there are some simple practical ways to bring God into your marriage bed.
- Read your Bible out loud together in your marriage bed – maybe even naked
- Pray out loud together in your marriage bed in each other’s arms
- Pray about sex – the struggles, what you want to change, and thank Him for every small step
- Make love to worship music
- Talk about the ways that sex mirrors the intimacy God wants to have with you
Bringing God into my marriage bed profoundly impacted my sex life. There have been times when I have prayerfully repented or shared about baggage in my husband’s arms and asked God to take it away. There have been times that I have struggled to physically respond with my husband and I gave it to God because I was tired of trying to control things. There have been times when my husband or I have praised God for an intimate connection because God is so good we had to praise Him. There have been times when I knew there must be a God – because sex was so unexplainable, so not of this world, so divine
Are you ready to step into believing that sex is more than just a physical encounter with your spouse – it is another dimension of knowing who God is. Unlock the door and invite God into your marriage bed.
How have you encountered God in your marriage bed and what has it done for your sex life?