Over the last 6 years I have read a ton of books on sex, both secular and Christian. As you might imagine, there are a million different opinions on sex, making it hard to know what to believe and what to throw out. One of the fundamental flaws that I often see is defining sex by what comes naturally to men or women. Writers create surveys or observe natural tendencies and prescribe how to understand each other and work around each other’s brokenness. This thinking completely ignores the fact that our understanding about sex is wrong because of lies we have believed or baggage that we carry. It also takes God out of the equation. Just because we act a certain way, does not mean that is who God wants us to be. We need to give God room to work and to change us. We have walls that need to be taken down and lies that need to be righted. Even though knowledge can be gleaned from our natural tendencies, I choose to put every idea about who God wants me to be, and what I believe about sex through a filter – God’s word. What is God’s intent for me, for my husband and for sex.
One of the most profound passages on sex in the bible is
Ephesians 5:31-32 (NIV) – “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
In essence it says that becoming one in marriage – SEX – is a mirror to becoming one with Christ. Intimacy in marriage is supposed to teach us what it means to have an intimate relationship with Christ. And our relationship with Christ is supposed to teach us what it means to be intimate in marriage.
You might be surprised by how many common beliefs about sex are turned on their head if you run them through this filter. So, join me for a journey of comparing “Oneness with Christ” to “Oneness in marriage” every Thursday. It is going to be an interesting ride.