Do We Settle for Boring?

I think one of the most powerful messages that Satan uses to destroy marriage is the simple lie that …

Marriage is supposed to be boring.

or that…

Sex in marriage is just going to be boring.

We buy into messages portrayed in media – movies, tv, magazines – and we settle. We look at marriages around us, listen to friends gripe and decide that this… is all there is. And we settle. We settle for survival, learning to communicate, respecting each other and blah!!!

We buy into the lie that sex in marriage is boring – because it is boring. So instead of talking about hard things and putting ourselves out there to create amazing intimate connection, we settle for escape in romance novels, or photo spreads.

If marriage and sex mirror the intimacy God wants with us….

Is our relationship with Christ supposed to get boring?

If we are on a journey of discovering who God is and really getting to know Him, doesn’t our relationship just get sweeter and sweeter?  But it takes time and intention and being completely real with Him. It takes surrender and wrestling and worship. The more I know God, the more I want to be with Him.

In the same way, marriage and sex, is not supposed to get boring. Just like there is more to know about God, isn’t there always more to discover about your spouse?  But it takes time and intention and focus and vulnerability.

The sex my husband and I are having after 30 years of marriage is so much better than the sex I had the first year of marriage. I know that as my husband and I continue on this journey, marriage and sex, is only going to get sweeter and sweeter.

God never intended that marriage or that sex would be boring. In fact, I believe that our marriage is supposed to look drastically different from what people usually see. We ought to have people coming up and saying, “I don’t know what is going on between you and your husband, but I want it. How do I get there?”

Does your marriage stand out to the world? Is it a testimony of God’s goodness?

Comments 3

  1. Hi Ruth – Fabulous post. If we could only grasp the fact that there is always more and that the best is yet to come in terms of intimacy, passion, trust, freedom…, we could honestly and safely say that our wedding day would be the worst day of our marriage.

  2. Woyld you say the same were your husband struggling with erectile dysfunction? That sex after 30 years is better than in the first year?

    • Yes I would. There are many ways to connect besides just penis in vagina intercourse. The two of us having to adapt and learn new things when we have established trust and communication would be challenging but would bring us closer together.

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