God woos us. He calls us to come to Him. To lay down our burdens and our worries and to find Him with arms open wide. He doesn’t force us. He doesn’t manipulate us. He doesn’t barter with us. He just says “Come”.
- Rev 3:20 – Here I am. I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.
- Psalm 23:6 – Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.
- Matthew 11:28 – “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
God loves us, even in our sin. He loves us even if we ignore Him, or reject Him. He loves us though we forget him or get distracted. He loves us no matter what.
Romans 5:8 says, But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.
God gives us free will to choose. He could have forced us to love him. He could have forced us to serve him. He could have commanded us to bow down in worship. He could have made us into robots to do his will – but He doesn’t. He wants us to choose Him. He wants us to Come to Him.
So, if we are supposed to love our spouse like Christ loved the church then…
We must love our spouse even when they are not having sex with us. We must connect with them emotionally and serve them. We must forgive them over and over and extend grace to them. Loving them cannot be conditional on how they are loving us.
For years, my husband wooed me even when we were not having much sex. He served me by helping with the kids and the house. He rubbed my tired feet and massaged the tension out of my back. He held my hand and worshiped beside me. He took me out on dates and when we did have sex, my enjoyment always came before his. My husband loved me well even when I was not loving him well. He wooed me and one day I woke up.
Our spouse has free will. We cannot force them to want sex with us or to enjoy it. Coercing and bartering will only lead to resentment and bitterness. Guilting them into having sex because of your needs will not satisfy the deep longing in your soul for connection.
Song of Songs 2:10 – Come away with me, my fair one!