I can’t stop thinking about the Keep Your Love On conference that I recently attended. Danny Silk talked about how to stay in relationship – whether with your spouse, your child, your friends or even your coworkers. The concepts we learned were both simple and yet profound and I can’t wait to read the book. Here are a few of Danny Silk’s concepts….
We are Powerful People
2 Timothy 1:7 – For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.
Because we are Christians, we have God’s power in us. We get to choose how we act and how we react – regardless of how someone treats us. No one can make us lose our temper, become sarcastic, or feel helpless. We are not victims. We can do what we say we will do, live by integrity and require respectful relationships.
But honestly many of us slide into saying things like..
“she made me..”
“ if only they would _____ then I would_____.” or
We act as if we are powerless and at the mercy of those around us.
Powerful people say, “I will”, “I will not”,“I do” or “I do not”.
Powerful people treat themselves and others with kindness, compassion and respect – PERIOD. They look to God for their worth and guidance on how He wants them to act. If we are part of the kingdom of God then we are powerful people unless we are in bondage – and then we need additional help.
Love and Fear are Mortal Enemies
1 John 4:18 – Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.
When we operate out of a spirit of love we are at our best. We think the best of others, we treat them with respect and we give them the benefit of the doubt. When we operate out of a spirit of fear, we are at our worst. Anxiety grips us, insecurities control us and we manipulate for self-preservation. Love and fear are mortal enemies – they do not operate side by side. The simple question, “Am I operating out of a spirit of Love or out of a spirit of Fear” can quickly take us back to operating from the best in us.
Our Battle Cry must be “I Choose You”
No matter what others have done, no matter how hard things are, no matter how afraid or insecure we are, we must constantly reaffirm that “I choose you!” Just like Jesus.
Jesus chose us before we chose Him. He chose us while we were still sinners, while we spit on Him and rejected Him. He chooses us when we continue to get distracted and struggle with pride. Jesus just keeps choosing us.
We must continue to choose those that we want to have relationship with. We must constantly remind them, “Regardless of what you do, I choose you.”
What is the goal for your Marriage?
- To raise a family
- To create a comfortable life
- To save enough money for retirement
- To become a better person
The real goal of marriage is an intimate, loving, connection.
But fear destroys connection – it leads to anxiety, judgement, or bitterness. We can spend our entire marriage trying to figure out how far apart is safe enough. You chase away fear by loving intentionally.
So how do we actually have the courage to be intimate – or be fully known
2 Things are Required
- We have to be 2 Powerful People – Grounded in who God created us to be.
- We have to continually affirm – “I choose You”