Manual Stimulation can be one of the most intense ways for your wife to experience orgasm, but it does not necessarily come easily or intuitively. Keep reading for some tips to make manual stimulation something to remember.
Rubbing Vs Feeling
One of the MOST important concepts we teach in the Awaken-Love Men’s Edition is the difference between “rubbing” and “feeling”. In order to illustrate the point, we have the men put a little coconut oil on their wrist. We then ask them to spend a little time “rubbing” their wrist. Being the task oriented men they are, they get right at it, rubbing their wrist with focused vigor.
After a few minutes, we stop them, take a deep breath and then ask them to “feel” their wrist. Their movement instantly changes to a slow, sensuous, thoughtful feeling of their wrist. We see them thinking about what they experience. Their mind intently mapping the terrain and responses. Next we spend time exploring ways to “feel” not just the surface of the skin, but the area under the skin. By keeping their fingers attached to the skin to eliminate friction, they can better feel tendons and veins. We finish by spending time simply holding still. Sometimes you can pick up a pulse or feel tension better by simply holding still.
As we process the difference between “rubbing and feeling”, a giant light bulb goes on for the men.
Knowing Each Other
When our husband pleasures us with their hands, the last thing we want is for them to “rub” us. We want them to “feel” us, because God created sex to get to know each other. We want our husband to pay attention to our body and know how we respond. Our husband can learn to sense when we relax or if we tense and to adjust to find pleasure paths. We want our husband to know us so well that they can even tease us. Our husband should have a map in his mind of what our body feels like and continually search for new discoveries. We want our husband to know us by feeling us. If you take nothing else away from this article, I would encourage you to think about feeling your wife the next time you pleasure her with your hands.
Tips for Manual Stimulation
- Focus on feeling not rubbing – slow down, try to feel her and begin to map her terrain
- Use lubrication – everything should feel silky smooth. Coconut oil is a great option.
- Use connected movement – finger pads should never lose connection to her skin, use the flats of your finger pads
- Get to know her visually – learn your wife’s terrain. Watch how her vulva change through out arousal. Learn the different areas of her vulva. There is so much more than just the magic button
- Demonstration – ask your wife for a demonstration and really study what she does. You will be amazed at how much you learn
- Positions – create variety by using different positions like Woven Together, Wrapped Up or Up Close and Personal
- One, two, three fingers or more – very different sensations are created depending on how many fingers are used
- The Tease – make her body beg for it before you go for the gold. If she feels stuck, then circle back and take a running start.
- Rhythms – create expectation by setting up patterns
- Create Direction – there should be a general ramp up of stimulation, pressure and pace so that your wife knows that you are taking her somewhere
- Triggers – save nipples or other triggers as your “push to pass”
- Take her somewhere – Lead with confidence as you “know” your wife more and more and take her where you want her to go.
Enjoy taking your wife for a ride as she shows you one of the most intimate things she will ever share.
Originally published as Rubbing vs Feeling – Manual Stimulation on Nov 3, 2014