Don’t Wait Until a Marriage is in Crisis

” I’m learning so much and hope to be able to use what I’ve learned one day. I will pass the information on to my daughters to hopefully prevent them from making the same mistakes I have made. Thank you so very much for your class. I wish I had found it earlier in my marriage, or even a couple of years ago. We would be in a different place I am sure.” former student

Women in Crisis

Sometimes women whose marriage is in crisis sign up for an Awaken-Love class on the advice of their marriage counselor. Years of neglect and damage lead them to a desperate attempt to salvage their marriage. With nothing left to lose, they sit through six weeks of discovering God’s desire for their marriage bed. All the while wishing they had known the truth earlier or done something sooner.

My heart breaks as these women silently sit through class with tears streaming down their faces. Husbands that have thrown in the towel refuse their advances to practice what they’ve learned in class. They quietly listen to the enthusiasm of the other women discovering freedom in the marriage bed. All they can do is hang onto faith that God can save their marriage and continue to work on themselves.

These broken wives are met with grace and unconditional love from the other women in the class. They are given room to cry and feel discouraged and then gently pointed back to a Father that knows them and loves them. A God that is big enough to handle any situation. Women listen to their stories, hug them, pray over them and plead with God for breakthroughs in their marriages.

Urgency for Change

When women in crisis come to class, I am grieved and reminded of the urgency of making Awaken-Love available to more women. So many wives have bought into the lie that sex is just for their husband. When they hear about God’s design for sex they feel bewildered at why they have never heard this message before. Some of them don’t understand anything about their own bodies or how to create intimacy with their husbands through sex. When they learn about the freedom God gives us in marriage, they feel stunned as taboos become possibilities. Suddenly they realize what a powerful impact sex could have on their marriages.

Most women have a warped understanding of sex. For some, purity messages caused them to limit what they enjoy during sex. For others, culture taught them that their husband only cares about a sexual release. Some women survived years in the hook-up culture to struggle to intimately connect during sex when they finally met Mr. Right. Most of us somehow feel that sex is just something that we do for our husband, not for ourselves. Women need help finding good, biblical answers about sex.

Talking About Sex

We cannot wait for our pastors to take the lead in talking about the intricacies of creating an amazing sex life in marriage. We have to figure sex out for our own marriage, but also for our kids and for our friends. I love it when women from class tell me about all the amazing conversations they are having about sex with their husband, kids, co-workers and friends.

The first step to fighting wrong messages about sex is for us to start speaking the truth about sex. We need to share God’s truth about how He designed sex to make us into one, to get to know each other, and even to find refreshment with each other. Women need to hear about the freedom God gave us in marriage. Women must understand how their bodies work so that they can create a mutually enjoyable sex life. We battle wrong messages about sex with knowledge and truth.

Regardless of whether you think you have mastered sex, or recently started on the journey, God can use you. If you don’t know where to start then host an Awaken-Love video class and invite a few friends to join you. Spend 6 weeks learning God’s truth using the videos to provide all the teaching. Create a safe place for women to process, to share and to receive healing. See your marriage transformed as you embrace God’s gift of sex.

Don’t wait until you wished you’d done something sooner. Some day your friends might thank you.

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