After years of going to church and striving to do good, finally understanding God’s love instantly transformed my life. I started acting different, dressing different, worshiping with abandon and opening myself up to my husband and to others. But like anything in life, real lasting transformation is a journey. Insecurities continue to creep back in. I have moments where I feel bold and confident sharing my body with my husband and at other times I struggle to believe that he really loves me. So I thought I would share some specific choices that help me to live out feeling beautiful.
Spend time with Christ
Our identity must come from Christ. We must know and understand His unconditional love and we must spend time getting to know Him.
One of the hardest things God has called me to do was to sit still. To not run down to the wood shop to build anything, or work out in the garden, but to just sit still with Him. I had to learn to just be with Him, sometimes listening and even hearing from Him.
I learned that reading my bible out loud to myself helped me take His word to heart. Praying out loud, with pauses for Him to speak, turned into real conversation. Relationships take spending time together. Falling in love with Jesus had the biggest impact in how I felt about myself.
Spend time understanding what has caused insecurities and go after healing.
Wounds caused me to believe lies. Whether child hood situations of how others perceived see us, or circumstances that impacted how we feel about ourselves. Opening up to my husband and praying over those situations and brought both understanding and healing. James 1:2-4 says, Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
Working through my baggage, lies and insecurities has caused me to grow personally, and has caused our marriage to grow.
Take Care of Yourself
I used to put everyone ahead of me – my kids, my husband, and my friends. I am learning the importance of taking care of myself so that I can be a better wife. Even little things like buying nice underwear, taking time to walk with friends, buying a new outfit that I feel good in, or getting to retreat have made a huge difference for me.
Guard Your Eyes
Comparisons are the bane of our existence. They feed our selfishness and breed discontentment. God created each one of us absolutely unique and beautiful. How boring would life be if we all looked life Barbie. Stop looking at photo shopped magazines, or even with longing at photos of your young self. Stop comparing and enjoy today.
We need truth tellers in our life.
When the insecurities creep back in, we need truth tellers in our life. My husband has gotten better and better at fearlessly speaking God’s truth over me. He constantly tells me how beautiful I am. I have friends that encourage me and that I feel safe to share my insecurities. They remind me of God’s truth.
Live fearless lives.
People might have thought I was pretty fearless because I did crazy things like jump off of rope swings into freezing water, rock climb, and teach myself to woodwork. The truth is, I only did things that came naturally.
I found real freedom when I had to trust God. Teaching sex classes, speaking to groups of women or writing a book were things I could have never done on my own. When I became dependent on God, I started living fearlessly.
The more we understand how incapable we are of accomplishing anything on our own, the more we understand God’s goodness. When we are willing to fail, make a fool of ourselves, share testimonies of our own struggles, or serve where He calls, then we start living. 2 Cor 12:10 tells us that when we are weak, then He is strong. When we get out of the way, then God works through us.
My husband tells the story that when he saw my 1963 perfectly restored VW bug, he knew that he wanted to get to know me. He also tells the story that when we were under my 1963 Chevy Nova station wagon that he suddenly he knew he should ask me to marry him. For years, those stories embarrassed me. But honestly, that is who I am. That is who God created me to be. And I am blessed to have a husband that knows me so well and loves me just like I am.
There is freedom in being who God created you to be – absolutely stunningly you. The only person that can decide whether you are beautiful – absolutely gorgeous inside and out. – is you. Your friends cannot convince you, God cannot and neither can your husband.
So I leave you with a few questions that only you can answer….
- What does it mean to be and feel beautiful?
- Have you ever felt really beautiful? When and Why?
- If you felt absolutely beautiful, how would you act differently? With strangers, friends, your husband and God?
- What is holding you back from feeling beautiful?