Marie serves on the mission field and has quietly spoken truth to women about sexuality, one woman at a time. This year she discovered Awaken-Love and has since become part of the Awaken-Love teaching team. She is learning to let go as she submits to God’s love and calling in her life.
I have taught in many countries of Asia and in one country of Africa. Because homes often lack running water, women carry large pots to gather water from the community well. The water pot is such an essential household tool that no one would ever leave it unattended. A pot costs valuable money to replace. Without it one could not gather the water necessary for all aspects of daily life.
But in John 4:28, the Samaritan woman left behind her water pot at the well as she returns to tell her village about Jesus. Throughout the years, God has used this story from John to speak into my life and has asked me to lay down my own “water pot”. I need to let go of the things I rely on for my own preservation.
My journey with Awaken-Love
Earlier this year I took the Awaken-Love video class with another woman. God began to speak to me about incorporating the Awaken-Love class into my ministry to women here on the mission field.
For three weeks I struggled with the idea and wrestled with the Lord about it in prayer. How could I even imagine doing this here; in this country where the very word “sex” is barely mentioned in a whisper, if at all. Tongues will wag for sure, if the townspeople catch wind that I am teaching this kind of class.
I tried to reason with God, citing that I am already pushing the envelope in this society. My firm stance on the equality of women and men impacts daily life and already puts me at risk. But God did not create women to just serve men and simply acquiesce to whatever a man happens to say. How could God expect me to teach about sex?
Once again God began to speak tenderly to me. “What emotion are you feeling right now?” “Fear,” I responded, “especially the fear of what others may think of me.” Once again God reminded me that fear is not from Him. God asked me to leave my “water pot” of safety, of doing what was accepted, at His feet.
God wants to send me into the villages to proclaim His truth about the beautiful gift of sex within marriage. He has filled me with His Living Water that heals and restores wherever it is given freedom to flow. And He wants His Life to flow out of me through Awaken-Love, to remove and replace the fear and the shame these ladies feel so deeply with His love and His honor. God wants to bring healing of the abuse some of these precious and beautiful ladies have endured and, in some cases, still experience.
For years I have quietly spoken to women about their sexuality, usually one-on-one. The only times I had a chance to speak deeply was when a lady approached me about abuse she had experienced.
God has begun to open new doors to speak about sexuality. God created sex for the wife to enjoy as well as the husband. Sex is a divine mystery of becoming “one” with our spouse and with God himself, and it has been truly groundbreaking. Women are slowly opening up about how they see themselves and how they think God sees them.
In the classes I can see the changes taking hold. Hope replaces shame. Joy replaces the fear of talking about sex openly among a group of Christian ladies. Body parts are still whispered about, even female body parts. Faces turn crimson from embarrassment, eyes turned down, because this subject is linked to so much fear and shame. But despite this, I can see God slowly knocking down barriers and bringing freedom to these ladies.
Humbled to Be Used
I am humbled that God is using me in this way – humbled and in awe that they trust me with such a sensitive subject in this country. Women’s reactions have varied. Some respond with tears, while others respond vocally, saying such things as, “I never knew my body could do that”, or “wow, I learned so many new things!” Once a lady approached me and said, “throughout the class I felt shame for speaking so openly here about this subject”. But she thanked me for addressing it and added that she only knew of a couple of other people in the whole country bold enough to talk about this subject.
Gradually these precious ladies are laying down their “water pots” of tradition and of shame, and replacing them with God’s powerful truth, His living water of freedom in Christ even in this area of sexual intimacy in marriage.
Beautiful at His feet
God is enough for you! And more, God says you are enough for Him! Our hearts are beautiful to Him. Our minds are precious and our entire being has been molded by Him out of His righteous love. What He called “very good” is just that. Awaken to the reality of His image of you as His Beloved!
As you read this, ask yourself: what am I “holding onto”? Hurts, passions, grudges, or beautiful memories. Do you have a fear of being totally naked, physically or even spiritually? Maybe God has been telling you that you are truly beautiful, but you remain afraid to truly let go – to let go of things you are clutching tightly rather than allowing God to hold them for you. We all hold something. The question is, does God want us to hold that thing? Or does He want you to lay it down at His feet?