If you are afraid to host an Awaken Love sex class, trust me, I understand. When I had my first class, I felt terrified too. Who would I ask and how would I do it? Could I really talk about sex? What if something came up that I wasn’t equipped to handle? What if I said the wrong thing or didn’t have the answer? But as God continued to highlight the importance of figuring out sex to strengthen Christian marriages, I knew I had to do something. I finally decided that I wasn’t going to let Satan’s lies or fear keep me from making a difference. I was going to trust God.
I will never forget the first time I decided to teach Awaken Love. I spent weeks thinking about who I should invite and how to broach the subject. Too scared to reach out to my friends in person I decided that email felt safest. I made a list of some of my most trusted, Godly friends and drafted a letter telling them a little bit of my story. God had woken me to the importance of sex and was calling me to share with others what I had learned. I remember hitting “send” and wondering, “what will they think of me now?”
I really wasn’t sure how my friends would react. But using email gave them a comfortable “out” and helped me avoid the face to face questions or personal rejection. Those not interested simply never responded. The ones open to the idea quickly replied. After all, how often do you hear about a Christian sex class?
After all these years, I still feel nervous inviting others to a class. My primary way to spread the word about classes is using email. But every once in a while, God calls me to press in and talk to someone in person. Usually it feels so clear that I almost feel like I am transmitting a message from God. “I think you are supposed to take my class”, I will gently pronounce. More often then not, they agree.
Some women have no problem inviting friends to a sex class, and some of us just need to use subtler way. Either way, trust God to bring the women ready to dive in. Don’t pressure friends that don’t feel ready. You never know what they are dealing with in their marriage.
Having the Answers
Those first classes I often worried, what if I don’t know the answer? The truth is that I will never have all the answers and neither will you. Sometimes there is no simple answer, or maybe no answer at all.
More important than providing the answers we must provide a sympathetic place for women to be heard, loved and pointed to the simple truths about God. He is good, He is faithful, He cares and He can provide healing and restoration. We won’t have to all the answers, we just need to keep pointing women back to God’s truth.
At times the fear that what I said might make matters worse felt terrorizing. Carrying the burden for someone else’s change or transformation felt suffocating, until I landed at the foot of the cross. God is in control, not me. If someone makes positive growth than the glory goes to God. If I say the wrong thing, then God can use even my weaknesses and work good from it. Teaching classes will require you to let go of what you cannot control and instead trust Him.
Handling emotional situations has never been my strength. In fact, I remember purposely avoiding people because I did not feel comfortable hearing about their struggles. So you can imagine that when I started teaching, I worried about the situations I might need to handle in classes – a woman still raw from sexual abuse, a wife that just discovered her husband’s porn, feelings of regret over promiscuity. But God provided. Every time I felt lacking, another woman stepped up. And even though I now feel confident in handling most situations, I still look for women to step up. Because class is not about me. It is about women ministering to women. God will be faithful to provide what you need during class.
If you have considered hosting an Awaken Love class and you’ve been talking yourself out of it, I would ask you these questions….
- Is God calling you to bring wholeness and health to women’s sexuality, or to start talking about sex in the church?
- Do you know God and His truths?
- Can you create a safe place for women to be honest?
- Do you trust God to provide – even for a sex class?
Well, what are you waiting for…