We create sexual tension through contrast. The drastic difference between two things that make both feel more intense. It requires using a range of motions, touches, or feelings. Tension wakes us up and helps us to know we are alive. It is the anticipation of jumping into a cold lake on a hot summer day and feeling our heart pound. The way that the color white pops against a black ground. The excitement of one spouse leading with confidence and the other surrendering. Contrast creates sexual tension and transforms shades of gray to the brightest colors of the rainbow.
In order to create contrasts, you must expand your repertoire of touch to the outer limits. The greater the difference, the more power they hold.
- The lightest feather touch creates more tension. Can you feel the quiver of the hair on her neck as you ever so slowly float across the skin? Does her skin whisper, “more, more…”
- Do the muscles melt in your hands as you massage past skin and into body? Slowly gliding across the oiled skin, the tension loosens at your touch.
- Finger nails gently glide and lightly scratch over testicles in playfulness. Taunting until the sack seems to float in pleasure. They prepare in anticipation of a warm mouth that will fully encompass.
- Interludes of gentle flicks or taps contrast the connected touches and strokes that make the heart race. They create anticipation as the tension mounts for a return to those amazing strokes.
- The cool whistle of air through pursed lips seeks to wake up and tantalize. The hot slow breath of a mouth close enough to heat, warms the skin in preparation for a melding of bodies.
Noticing Our Differences
The differences between men and woman create sexual tensions. The soft curves of a woman mesmerize and inspire a husband. The velvet touch of her skin incomprehensibly smooth. Her breasts flow and move and become full. Complexities and endless treasures are hidden in her.
The coarse body of a man so different from his wife’s. The strength and broadness of his shoulders that provide support. His steadiness when she wants to hide. The whiskers that remind her that he’s a man. Our differences create sexual tension and call us to wonder and explore.
The tease of desiring something and not getting it creates sexual tension. Women constantly talk about wanting their husband to tease them more. To take charge, to withhold dessert while offering small tastes here and there of what is to come. Anticipation makes the dessert taste that much sweeter.
Teasing requires playfulness, knowing what someone wants, or making them want what you have. Teasing does not take happen from a list of steps. It happens with playful spontaneity and being in tune to each other.
Sex can play out in all kinds of ways. Gentle sessions of loving and caring for each other provide a stable base of trust. But the contrast of someone clearly taking charge, while the other surrenders creates sexual tension that can create fireworks. Either husband or wife can take charge, but to create tension, they must lead with confidence. Fueled by the desire to love their spouse fully, they let loose and set their worlds ablaze. Both roles equally important, no one can clearly take charge if the other will not fully surrender. Creating fireworks requires the ultimate trust.
Take your love making to the next step by creating greater contrasts to create greater sexual tension. Expand and stretch your repertoire of touches. Contrast them against each other. Appreciate and notice the differences that draw you to your spouse and them to you. Play them up. Learn how to playfully tease and tantalize your spouse. Make them wait, give them tastes, create more and more interest until you fully satisfy them. Create a greater contrast between who is leading and who is following. If you are leading, really take charge. Dare to let yourself go for it. If you are following, let go. Experience all that God has for you.