Seven years ago when I had my awakening, one of the Christian Sex Bloggers that I stumbled upon was Julie Sibert from IntimacyinMarriage.com. She writes with wit and a don’t beat around the bush attitude. Julie has a ton of wisdom and experience helping others in their sex life and today I am honored to have Julie guest post. Enjoy!
I didn’t always have a good grasp on godly sexual passion. Fortunately, I learned! And along the way, I have encouraged others. Maybe that’s why you’ve landed at this blog post today. You want more godly sexual passion in your marriage and you’re curious what it will take to experience that.
Here are 3 ways to get there…
Agree with God about Sex
If we listed all the things that sabotage authentic sexual intimacy in a marriage, we’d be here awhile. The good news, though, is that no matter the particular sexual struggle you and your spouse are facing, God wants to speak into it.
Are you as a couple ready to agree with God about sexual passion and, in some cases, restoration and healing? Are you committed to trusting what God says about His gift of sex in marriage? I’m not saying this is easy, especially if grabbing hold of God’s vision of sex goes against all that you have thought about sex to this point. But it’s worth it to align your perspectives with the Author of sexual intimacy. When you do, that’s when positive transformation can take root.
When we explore His Word, we begin to understand He intentionally created sex to be a holy and erotic path to oneness. He didn’t come up with sex as an afterthought. Arousal, orgasm and sexual oneness are all evidence of His intentional design. And God has given a husband and wife tremendous sexual freedom within the exclusivity of their relationship.
The question becomes, “Do you agree with Him?”
If you want to embrace godly sexual passion, a great place to start is by agreeing with what God says about sex.
Let Go of Hollywood’s Depiction of Romance
Who among us doesn’t love a romantic movie? So many women especially are drawn to how romance and sex are portrayed in mainstream movies.
Sex in movies is all so natural and easy. The lighting is always spot on. The kisses and touches look flawless. The pillows are magically in the right place before, during and after the encounter. Off-the-charts pleasure seems a sure thing. And no one ever has bad breath or gets a leg cramp.
It’s no wonder those romantic scenes pull us in!
So then when we experience real sex in real marriage, we can become discouraged that it isn’t quite as flawless as what Hollywood has served up. It’s messier. More awkward. And requires way more actual communication and a lot less assumption.
But you know what? Real sex is better than movie sex, because it’s actual sex. We seem to forget that all that passion depicted on the screen is fabricated. Scripted. It’s not two people making love. It’s two people pretending to make love.
You don’t want pretend sex. You want real sex. As a husband and wife, you can discover the touches and techniques that bring incredible pleasure and oneness, and many of those touches and techniques you will never see in a mainstream romantic movie.
Embrace godly sexual passion by letting go of the fabricated romance depicted in movies.
Keep Learning How to Nurture Great Sexual Intimacy
Even those of us who speak and write about sex are still learning about sex and how to nurture it in our own marriages. My husband and I are not the same people we were when we married. And that would be true no matter how long two people have been married.
Sure, your core values likely don’t change, but we all are constantly growing in our experiences and knowledge. And as we age, our bodies change as well, and we may encounter health challenges. The upside, of course, as we age, we often start being more intentional about health and becoming more sexually confident.
If you want to embrace godly sexual passion, never stop learning how to nurture great sexual intimacy. It’s a fabulous time to be a Christian hungry for resources on sexual intimacy. There are so many Christian books, counselors, websites, and programs on intimacy, and much of the information is free or reasonably priced.
On my site, you can get a free guide on passionate sex God’s way at this link.
And if you’re interested in a deeper dive, I just released a program called Better Sex in Your Marriage. I’m taking only 100 couples in this initial offering, which has some awesome BONUSES for those 100 couples. Maybe you would like to be one of them. Find out if the offer is a good fit for your marriage at this link.
Regardless of what you do, I simply encourage you to do something. If you are ready to embrace godly sexual passion, there’s no better time than now to move in that direction!
Julie Sibert speaks and writes out of her own journey about sexual intimacy in marriage. You can follow her blog at www.IntimacyInMarriage.com. She lives in Nebraska with her husband, two sons and a rambunctious dog named Stella who is trying to destroy the yard.