Discover the Power of Words for Excitement

Just like God designed men to get excited by looking at a woman’s body , He designed women to get aroused through words. Women can read a romance novel with a juicy scene and suddenly we can’t wait for sex. It is similar to how God designed men’s eyes to arouse them. But just like men need to reserve their eyes to feast on their wives, we need to reserve our words for the marriage bed. In fact, we need to cultivate the use of words in our marriage bed. Instead of escaping into a book when our own sex life becomes stale, we must learn use  the power of words to create the sex life we want.

Words have been a huge area of growth for my husband and me.  We have gone from literally not saying a word during sex to freely expressing our needs and our delights. I am so thankful that my husband took my needs seriously. He could have minimized my desires, thinking words can’t be that big a deal. Or he could have used excuses like, that not who I am, or it is too hard. Men, it takes courage for your wife to visually share her body with  you. It will take courage for you to learn how to create excitement using your words. But trust me, learning to use your words is a powerful way to make your sex life mutually enjoyable.

I have had nights when I literally told Jim, “I need your words more than your touch.” With my mind in so many different places, I knew Jim’s words could engage and excite me for sex much faster than his touch. Don’t discount the power of words.

Realizing the Power

I remember the first time I realized just how much power words held. My husband was on a business trip for 2 weeks and I was determined to push the boundaries to connect while separated. While lying in bed with my laptop early in the morning I could feel the silky sheets against my skin and missed my husband terribly. So, as I lay there visiting with my husband I began to type using the instant messaging system on Skype,

“like what you see?”

After a bit of confusion, he replied, “uh, yeah”.

“want to see more?”, I teased.

I could see his eyes light up as he gathered his response.

“Tell me what you want…”

As we typed back and forth, we didn’t yet have the courage to speak the words out loud, but we knew there was something more for us to learn. Instant messaging began our journey of tapping into the power of words.

Growth

The need to incorporate words in my marriage bed was driven by my desire and not my husband’s. Rather than nagging him or voicing my disappointment, I created games and scenarios to reinforce how powerful and fun words could be. If you need ideas then check out my article on Using Our Words During Sex, or Using Words to Fuel Passion. 

Our sex life has thrived because Jim was willing to stretch and grow, and he has witnessed the change words have made both for me and for him. The twinkle in my husband’s eyes bears witness to his enjoyment of our words.

Sometimes, more than touch, I need my husband to take me someplace using his words. Words can turn vanilla sex into steaming hot sex, even though we are in the same bed, wearing the same outfit and doing the same things. Words can transport me in a way that touch cannot. They communicate a presence and a connection beyond the physical that integrates your mind and soul.

How have you discovered the power of words?

Comments 2

  1. “The need to incorporate words in my marriage bed was driven by my desire and not my husband’s.”

    This, in my experience, would be the key to getting a husband to talk. Most men are not as good at fantasizing as women are and therefore also not as good at expressing it. (We are more doers in this area) But I think most men would love to talk and hear her talk about and during sex. But many, specially those that care about her feeling safe and comfortable, are also concerned that what they would say could be offensive to her. Therefore if it was her initiative, he could learn to go along and even venture out a bit.
    But it is hard to do any of it if she doesn’t see the benefit of it.

    • Yes, I agree. A wife having a positive mindset and the desire to create an exciting marriage bed makes everything easier. Sometimes women don’t even realize the importance of words until they have been a glimpse. One of the Hands On Learning for the Men’s Edition tiptoes into this arena to find out what happens.

Join the Conversation by Leaving a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.