Take Care of Yourself First

In June, after a busy year of publishing my book, recording the Men’s Edition, teaching classes and speaking to many groups, I knew that it was imperative for me to purposefully spend time restoring my soul. I needed to take a break from ministry and take care of myself.  So, I sat down and made a list of what it meant to take care of myself for the summer. As I dive back into ministry, I thought I would give you a little glimpse of what it means to take care of myself, and encourage you to do the same.

Fishing One Day Every Week

Almost every week I packed a lunch, slipped on my swimsuit, grabbed my fishing pole and headed out to fish on my friend’s dock. Sometimes I caught fish for dinner, other times I tried to keep the Sunnies off my hook. Once in a while a friend met me there, but other times I just sat in the quietness and enjoyed a beautiful day. Sometime I even took a nap and just felt the warmth of the sun on my back. Fishing kept me from my phone, my emails, Facebook – even my lists. It was a slower pace, where I could enjoy God’s creation and the beauty of another day.

Digging in the Dirt

I love to dig in the dirt. I always have. As a child, I remember using a magnet in the sand to collect metal filings. When my dad needed a giant trench dug for the septic system, I quickly accepted the summer job. For me, digging is therapeutic and grounding. This summer I installed several different paver sidewalks at our rental house.The soil at our rental house is black and loamy. I call the soil black gold because it grows the biggest marigolds you’ve ever seen. Moving dirt gives me pleasure as I feel the sweat run down my back and I realize the potential of hard work.

Fresh Meat and Vegetables

Summer brings different meals to our table. Grilled meat laid across a colorful salad creates a beautiful meal. Nothing beats a meal that goes straight from our garden to our mouths. Daily picking of the raspberries, cucumbers, zucchini, tomatoes and peppers. But this year I kind of went for it and planted some new treasures. God thrilled me with juicy cantaloupe and sweet spaghetti squash that gently wound down my garden wall. I feel like a proud mama birthing the fruit of a summer of love.

Lots of Sex

It might sound odd for a Sex teacher to make “Lots of Sex” a goal for the summer. But we go through the same challenges as everyone else – insecurities, lapses in confidence, pushing too hard, too many expectations, and aging bodies. I just wanted to take off the pressure and enjoy things again. So, I vowed to not put expectations on my husband or me. I took responsibility for myself and planning what I desired. To combat my aging body, I started a routine of pelvic floor stretches and exercises.

We had fun this summer. I mean lots of fun. Lazy days, new positions, sexy music, hiding under the sheets, dressing up. I feel like I am back to loving sex and looking forward to it, and it feels good.

Take Care of Yourself

Sometimes the best way to do ministry well is to spend time restoring your soul. I know God is a big part of restoration, but so is enjoying His creation, and who He created you to be. You cannot love your spouse unless you love yourself.

So how have you cared for yourself?

Comments 6

  1. Thanks for sharing!! It’s really hard to remember to do this. I now have 4 little ones with the last one just 7 weeks old and I’m just worn down most of the time. But what I have been doing lately that I never really have done is spending just a little more money on grocery trips to buy myself some of the things I like to eat throughout the day. Thing last that are a little more expensive and I would normally go without so I could buy more for the kids. But I just felt lately as though I need something to enjoy and give me something to look forward to. 💪🏽🤷🏼‍♀️🙌🏻 Kamboucha, special protein bars, chocolate hummus, and extra strawberries. These things feed my soul and ultimately take better care of myself. That’s one thing I can add. Gotta work on the rest?!!

    • I totally remember what it’s like to have 4 littles. And yeah, moms tend always put everyone else first. Thanks for sharing how you are doing self care. Praying that you find rest but that you also find joy in the small things with your kids.

  2. Thank you for another terrific article. Your thoughts have helped me overcome porn addiction and I am seeing God’s design for sex. Wow! That’s all I can say – He is SO amazing in His creation of us.
    Now, I hope I’m not getting to personal here but, I want to know: you’ve mentioned dressing up and costumes in relation to sex. That has wet my appetite (no pun intended l)! What exactly do you mean by that? What kind of costumes and um, how/what way are they used?! Please share! 🙂

    • Dressing up – as simple as leaving my bikini on until my husband comes home from work so that he can enjoy it too…wearing a strand of pearls for a hot date and then showing up in bed with just the strand of pearls on and taking advantage of it…enticing my husband to show up with a nice pair of jeans, and a tight white v-neck…

  3. For self-care, I like to get up early in the morning and hop on my bike for a ride. As I breathe the fresh crisp air and soak in the scenery of beautiful mountains near the lake, my head clears so I can think. Hiking in the woods or mountains also helps me to focus on God without the everyday distractions. Stress melts away as I meditate on His creativity and goodness.

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