Fun Ideas to Make Your Summer Sizzle

I can’t wait for summer! Long days of lazy sun. Fishing off the dock. Hot steamy nights with my husband. And reading a great book on sex at the beach. If you haven’t read Awaken Love or have a friend that wants to learn about the best sex, it is ON SALE this week. Just $10.99 for the paperback or $2.99 for Kindle. Grab a copy and get ready for summer.

And enjoy the fun ideas to take advantage of summer and create some memories.

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Before You Talk About Sex, Work On Yourself

Even though you might know what you want to say, most people cannot just decide to talk about sex and effectively communicate.  Our reaction, tone, attitude and even silence communicate more about sex than our words. Before your kids even hear your words, they will pick up on your emotions. Things like fear, discomfort and awkwardness powerfully convey how you really feel. If you want your kids to believe your words than you have you have to believe them yourself. The most important thing that you can do to help your kids embrace God’s truth about sex, is for you to work on yourself.

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Undone Redone Podcast of Awakening Your Sex Life

I had the privilege to sit down and talk with Melody and Tray from Undone Redone last week and share a little bit about Awaken Love. They know first hand the pain of sexual addiction and the freedom of recovery. Tray and Melody started an amazing ministry to help both husbands and their spouses experience healing. But God wants us to move beyond purity to embrace His gift of sex. On this episode we talk about embracing God’s design for sex – even after an addiction.

You can listen to the podcast or watch the video on the Undone Redone podcast.

If you struggle with sexual addiction or have a spouse that struggles, please check out their resources at Undone Redone. Don’t wait to get help. God wants you to be whole.

 

What Do You Want to Communicate to Your Kids?

When we think about talking to our kids about sex, we worry about fielding the embarrassing questions our kids might ask. Questions like, “How are babies made?” or “What is a blowjob?” But what if our kids never ask questions about sex? What if they’ve already picked up on how uncomfortable the topic makes us. Or maybe the world is already providing plenty of answers. Do you really want to leave your kids education about hard topic like sex, masturbation, pornography or LGBTQ to someone else? What truths do you want to communicate?

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Opportunities to Reclaim Territory

I often wear my Awaken Love shirt when I travel. I always think, how awesome would it be to have someone recognize me at an airport across the country. To stop me and say, “Thanks for what you are doing”. Though the internet provides challenges in safe guarding our families, it also provides opportunities to reclaim territory. The internet gives us access to people from local towns to foreign countries.

Several years ago I was vacationing with my family in McGregor, Minnesota, a tiny town of 350 people, enjoying our church camp. Midweek my husband and I drove into town to hit up the local market for a few dinner items.  I was halfway thru my shopping when an older gentlemen caught me from the side. He quietly said, ” I like your shirt. Keep doing what you are doing.” and then shuffled off to rejoin his wife.

To be honest, I hardly heard what he said, except that he liked my shirt. I had to ask my husband and when he told me, I still kept puzzling. “Are you sure he said, “keep doing what you’re doing?'” “Yes, I’m sure”, my husband replied.

I felt shocked.  Does he actually know about Awaken-Love? Is it possible that out in the middle of nowhere an older gentleman is following Awaken-Love in hopes of making his sex life better?

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Greater Contrast Creates Greater Sexual Tension

We create sexual tension through contrast. The drastic difference between two things that make both feel more intense.  It requires using a range of motions, touches, or feelings. Tension wakes us up and helps us to know we are alive. It is the anticipation of jumping into a cold lake on a hot summer day and feeling our heart pound. The way that the color white pops against a black ground. The excitement of one spouse leading with confidence and the other surrendering. Contrast creates sexual tension and transforms shades of gray to the brightest colors of the rainbow.

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Celebrate 7 Years of Awaken Love Ministry

Seven years ago, I started teaching Awaken Love. 8 dear friends came to my back porch to let me share my story of awakening to the power and importance of sex in marriage. 800 women later, I am still amazed at the transformation that happens in class. Another 700 women have been able to attend classes using videos. I am so encouraged by the women hosting video classes and sharing about Awaken Love.

This Year was a Whirl Wind

  • Finished writing, editing, formatting and designing my first book Awaken Love
  • Filmed, edited and launched a video for Engaged Couples
  • Filmed edited and launched the 6-week Men’s Edition videos and curriculum for husbands
  • Revamped Website to accommodate videos For Wives, Engaged Couples and Men’s Edition
  • Set Up regular posting on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest
  • Launched and sold over 1300 copies of my book Awaken Love in 8 months
  • Talked to girls in Kenya about sex
  • Over 20 Engagements Speaking About Sex to women’s and couples groups
  • Spoke to high school teens about sex for the first time

I am humbled that God is using me, encouraged by all that He is doing, and impatient for Him to do more. Many men and women still need to experience healing and freedom in their sexuality. Churches must learn to open up conversations about sex and create a safe place to bring brokenness to the light. Parents, grandparents and mentors must learn how to talk to kids about sex to change things for the next generation. I feel urgency, and hope you feel it too. But to be honest, I am also tired.

Rest in Him

Matt 11:28-30 says, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let met teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Though God has burdened my heart for speaking His truth about sex, I must resist trying to do things on my own. If God wants doors to open, then I trust that He will open them. When I teach classes and hear stories of brokenness, I have to hand them over to God. They are not mine to try to fix or to carry. Rather than striving on my own, I must continually give Awaken Love back to God. The burden He gives me is light and I must rest in Him.

Praise God with me as we celebrate the anniversary of Awaken Love.

He is good and He is faithful.

Balance of Independence and Dependence During Sex

A woman who could easily orgasm shared her frustration about her husband’s lack of interest in sex. Many reasons exist for a lack of interest, but her utter confidence in her own satisfaction, made me wonder if that had impacted her husband’s drive. Maybe he didn’t really feel needed, and don’t we all want to feel needed. Great sex requires a balance of independence during sex, and dependence on each other. Just like our relationship with God.

Even though God wants us to depend on Him, we also must do our part. We don’t just pray about getting healthy. We must choose to eat healthy food and exercise. Rather than just expecting God to heal us from past experiences, we go through a process of talking about it, choosing to forgive, and steps of faith. Yes, we need God, but we must take a step. Like the paralyzed man that Jesus asked, “Do you want to get well? Then get up, pick up your mat and walk”. Jesus did not stand him up. The man had to believe and stand up. During sex, we also need  both independence and dependence.

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Men’s Edition – A Great Resource to Improve Your Sex Life

Finally, a great place for husbands to get good information about sex.

Men’s Edition, an amazing resource to help Christian husbands create the intimate sex life they desire.

6 videos packed with insight that Ruth has gained from teaching hundreds of wives about sex. Ruth and her husband Jim will help you understand God’s design for sex, the challenges your wife faces in embracing freedom, the complexities of her body, and how to create more intimacy during sex. Though the videos can be viewed by yourself, we encourage you to find a group of guys to join you on this journey. One of the best ways to improve your sex life is to learn to talk about it.

Less than an hour long each, the videos provide discussion questions to help you process what you learn. If we want to take sex back from the world, then we must start talking about it. Taking the class with other husbands will also provide encouragement and accountability as you challenge each other to move beyond the status quo and try something new.

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Using Words to Fuel Passion During Sex

Words add excitement during sex. Women that masturbate often imagine what is being said to them. Even saying or imagining their own verbal enthusiasm can coax their body’s response. When my husband lets down his guard enough to ask for what his body aches for, it adds to my arousal in powerful ways. When our filters finally disappear, the “Oh yes!!”, “Don’t stop!” or “Harder” fuel passion. But what words can Christian couples use in the marriage bed?

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