Include God in Your Conversations About Sex

Conversations about sex and God rarely take place together. Somehow we have separated our creator from one of the  most powerful experiences He made for us. Yet God has a lots to say about our sexuality and any hard topic that the world challenges us with. When I made my list about what I want to communicate to my kids about sex, many of the truths involved God. Don’t depend on your church to talk about sex or other hard topics with your kids. Include God in your conversations.

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Start Talking to Your Kids About Sex Today

When I speak to moms groups about sex they often ask, “When should I start talking to my kids about sex?” They are probably hoping for a little more time to prepare. But none of us have more time. Culture, media, schools and porn are educating our kids everyday about sex. If you want your kids to have a biblical view about sex and other hard topics, then you can no longer remain silent.  One of the most important choices we will make as a parent is to start talking to our kids about sex, today.

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How to Have Conversations with Your Kids About Tough Topics

Conversations about hard topics like sex, masturbation, or porn can feel scary and awkward for everyone involved. A simple formula can help make the experience positive so that it happens again and again. Create a great conversation by sandwiching the contents of your conversation between Affirmation and Availability. Just like a good book, your kids will remember most how the conversation started and how it ended.

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Before You Talk About Sex, Work On Yourself

Even though you might know what you want to say, most people cannot just decide to talk about sex and effectively communicate.  Our reaction, tone, attitude and even silence communicate more about sex than our words. Before your kids even hear your words, they will pick up on your emotions. Things like fear, discomfort and awkwardness powerfully convey how you really feel. If you want your kids to believe your words than you have you have to believe them yourself. The most important thing that you can do to help your kids embrace God’s truth about sex, is for you to work on yourself.

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What Do You Want to Communicate to Your Kids?

When we think about talking to our kids about sex, we worry about fielding the embarrassing questions our kids might ask. Questions like, “How are babies made?” or “What is a blowjob?” But what if our kids never ask questions about sex? What if they’ve already picked up on how uncomfortable the topic makes us. Or maybe the world is already providing plenty of answers. Do you really want to leave your kids education about hard topic like sex, masturbation, pornography or LGBTQ to someone else? What truths do you want to communicate?

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Using Words to Fuel Passion During Sex

Words add excitement during sex. Women that masturbate often imagine what is being said to them. Even saying or imagining their own verbal enthusiasm can coax their body’s response. When my husband lets down his guard enough to ask for what his body aches for, it adds to my arousal in powerful ways. When our filters finally disappear, the “Oh yes!!”, “Don’t stop!” or “Harder” fuel passion. But what words can Christian couples use in the marriage bed?

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Talking About Sex – Even in Kenya

On our mantle sits a hand painted African plate from a fundraiser for a girl’s school and orphanage in Kenya. From the time we met the founders, I always knew that one day Jim and I would make the long trek to visit the orphanage.

Maybe it is because I admired how one couple’s obedience to God’s calling could impact so many lives. From its’ humble beginnings in 2004, the orphanage now houses, feeds, clothes and educates over 120 girls. Or maybe the founder wore me down, after repeatedly telling me his girls needed to meet a woman that crossed boundaries into fields like Engineering and Woodworking. Or maybe… after putting it off for over 8 years because of our kid’s college tuition payments and ministry involvement with Awaken-Love, I just needed to trust God.

This month Jim and I went to the orphanage in Kenya and it was amazing!!

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Practicalities of Talking About Sex in the Church

The world is screaming at us about sex. Non stop sexual advertising, pornography, TV shows and movies all constantly communicate the worlds standards and ideas. The church remains shockingly silent. Which in itself communicates something about sex, doesn’t it?The only way for the church to take sex back for the world is to start talking about sex. And not just in vague spiritual ways. People are looking for real answers!

You don’t wait for your pastor to lead the charge. They have their own brokenness they are dealing with. If you know and understand God’s truth about sex, then you need to start talking about sex. With your kids, your friends, and people  you mentor. We have to speak the truth about sex , but how?

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Talking About Sex in the Church – Walking the Tightrope

I have taught sex classes to Christian men and women for over 6 years. I have also written pretty detailed instruction articles on the blog for everything from oral sex, to frenulum orgasm, to how to enjoy intercourse. Along the way I have wrestled with what topics I should address and what felt like too much. At what point would I lose my audience because I wanted to educate and provide answers? Where is the line between respectful instruction and graphic detail? How do I vulnerably share the struggles and triumphs of working on my own sex life without letting people into my bedroom?

The lines for teaching about sex require careful discernment and humility. Though you may never  teach sex classes, I believe that only ways Christians can take sex back from the world, is by talking about sex. Like Juli Slattery says in Rethinking Sexuality, instead of letting the world disciple us about sex, the church, meaning us, need to disciple others about sex. We have to learn to talk about sex and walk the tight rope between helpful information, and going too far.

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Talking About Sex in the Church – RETHINKING SEXUALITY

After 6 years of teaching Awaken-Love to Christian wives and husbands, I am painfully aware of the need to talk about sex in the church. But we cannot limit ourselves to just talking about sex within marriage. God created us as sexual beings from the time we were born. We need to understand what the bible says about all areas of sexuality and even equip ourselves to minister to others.  Dr. Juli Slattery has written an amazing book and curriculum called Rethinking Sexuality that is both grounded in truth and steeped in grace.

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