What If Your Wife Has Never Experienced Orgasm?

Husbands want their wife to enjoy sex as much as they do. But if a wife has never experienced orgasm, she may not even know what she is missing. If she has never tasted the most delicious chocolate cake in the world, she may not think it’s that big a deal. Or may just start to believe it’s not possible. When things don’t naturally fall into place, a husband can feel confused, discouraged and lost. With silence surrounding the topic of sex, couples just stay stuck. Instead of looking for answers, they settle. But husbands can play a key role in helping a wife figure out how to orgasm.


How to Help Your Wife Orgasm More Often

If your wife only has an orgasm once in a while, the good news is that your wife knows how to orgasm. That bad news is that what worked yesterday, may not work tomorrow. If you expect your wife to orgasm simply through intercourse, then it might surprise you to learn the odds are against her.  Only about 30% of women orgasm on a consistent basis during intercourse. If you want your wife to enjoy orgasm on a regular basis than you must constantly learn new things about her. Rather than thinking you have arrived, you have really just begun.


How Can a Husband Help His Wife Orgasm?

Some women lose interest in sex when it seems like their husband has all the fun. Watching a husband collapse in pleasure night after night, while rarely or never responding can feel discouraging and disheartening. And it can be enough to make a woman avoid sex. If you want your wife to enjoy sex than you need to do what you can to help your wife orgasm on a consistent basis.


Manual Stimulation for Your Wife

Manual Stimulation can be one of the most intense ways for your wife to experience orgasm, but it does not necessarily come easily or intuitively. Keep reading for some tips to make manual stimulation something to remember.

Rubbing Vs Feeling

One of the MOST important concepts we teach in the Awaken-Love Men’s Edition is the difference between “rubbing” and “feeling”.  In order to illustrate the point, we have the men put a little coconut oil on their wrist. We then ask them to spend a little time “rubbing” their wrist. Being the task oriented men they are, they get right at it, rubbing their wrist with focused vigor.

After a few minutes, we stop them, take a deep breath and then ask them to “feel” their wrist. Their movement instantly changes to a slow, sensuous, thoughtful feeling of their wrist. We see them thinking about what they experience. Their mind intently mapping the terrain and responses.  Next we spend time exploring ways to “feel” not just the surface of the skin, but the area under the skin. By keeping their fingers attached to the skin to eliminate friction, they can better feel tendons and veins. We finish by spending time simply holding still. Sometimes you can pick up a pulse or feel tension better by simply holding still.

As we process the difference between “rubbing and feeling”, a giant light bulb goes on for the men.


Freebie for Her

One of the best ways to help your wife BELIEVE sex is just as important for her as it is for you, is to give her a FREEBIE. Serving her will communicate that you care about her enjoyment as much as yours. When you enjoy sex without an orgasm, she will realize that sex is not just physical for you, but that you love feeling close to her.

So my challenge to the husbands is…


Podcast about Awaken-Love Men’s Edition

My husband and I team up to teach a class called Awaken-Love Men’s Edition. About a month ago, I sat down with Belah Rose from Delight Your Marriage. She asked me to share some of the information that we teach at the Awaken-Love Men’s Edition. You can listen to the podcast at Delight Your Marriage.

The three goals of the Awaken-Love Men’s Edition are…

  1. To help husbands understand the difference between just having sex and truly connecting with their wife through sex, the way God intended.
  2. To help husbands be a great lover to their wife by helping them understand the battles in her head, how her body works, and how to woo her with words and actions.
  3. To equip men to talk to their wife, kids and other men about sex so that others might know the truth about sex.

Right now the class is only available in Minneapolis, but Jim and I have dreams of somehow making it available to more men using videos. If you want to listen to the podcast please go to Delight Your Marriage.

I would love to hear your feedback.

The Power of Kegel Exercises for Men

The other day my husband came home from work and said, “I had the funniest thing happen today. I was standing at the urinal when one of my colleagues next to me says, “wow, no problem with that flow!”My husband is in his 50’s and for the last 5 years has been faithfully doing Kegel exercises. Sometimes we hear these things about exercise or eating right and we think whatever… so I thought I would share a personal testimony of what impact consistent Kegel Exercises can have….


Understanding our Differences

I have to be honest, sex has been hard lately. My body is aging, my attitude is lousy, and I am beginning to get back into old habits of focusing too much on the finish line. Trust me, I know all the right answers. I have been teaching them to women for over 4 years.  But no matter how much I know, some days are just tough. In fact, lately I found myself questioning whether I was a total fraud teaching and writing about sex – somehow implying that if you understand and put into practice what I teach, everything will magically fall into place. Honestly, some days I just wish sex was as easy for me as it is for my husband.

Let me share a few thoughts

So women won’t feel quite so alone, and

Men will have a peek at the battle their wife faces.


Keeping the Creativity Going

The other night during the Awaken-Love Men’s Edition class we were talking about battling the lie that “Sex within marriage is boring.” I was sharing that I believe women are amazingly creative in the bedroom. In Song of Songs 7:11-12, she plans an outdoor rendezvous for the two of them to enjoy. They go to the vineyards early, before anyone else is there, and have sex outside.

Naturally, the men were eager to convey that they had no problem if their wife wanted to plan an outdoor adventure – or anything else that was creative. And then the question came up,

“If my wife is naturally creative, how do I get her to tap into her creativity?”

I have to be honest, beyond the obvious answers of creating a safe place and affirming the creative things that she does, I didn’t have much of an answer. So I have been chewing on it all week, and I have an idea…


Words Transport Women

Words transport women. That is why women devour romance novels and erotica. Hearing words can take us to a different place in an instant and it can be arousing and erotic. I suspect if husbands understood how powerful words were, they would be a little more interested in learning how to use their words to transport their wife.