Pelvic Massage Opens Up a Whole New World to Him

I love coconut oil. Using it has helped me with the challenges that come along with menopause and does wonders for my dry skin in the Winter season. But even more importantly, I love using coconut oil on my husband. Gliding around to do a pelvic massage has helped me to really loosen him up so that he can experience a whole new world.

Sex driven solely by our husband’s penis just touches the tip of the iceberg when it comes to his pleasure. We need to engage his entire body through connected touch. He has the potential to experience so much more pleasure than the explosive desperate release that his penis drives for. But we have to teach him to relax his body including his pelvic area and to linger and enjoy the entire journey.

Your husband’s pelvic area carries an enormous amount of tension. The feelings he stuffs, the stress from work, the insecurities and worries gradually build. Wound tight as a drum, sexual release brings relief as much as pleasure.

A husband practicing Kegel exercises will aid in learning to consciously relax the pelvic area. The exercises will also increase circulation and help with his general health.

If you want your husband to experience pure pleasure, not just release, you have to help him loosen up. You have to patiently unwind the tension and release his body to percolate in enjoyment.

Massaging the Pelvic Area

Rather than just focusing on the penis, we must focus on the entire pelvis. Using lots of coconut oil for lubrication, our hands provide firm smooth strokes to loosen the muscles. Massaging up the inner thighs and around the base of the penis, the bands of muscles begin to relax. Moving our hands across the abs bring blood towards the penis. Being careful to stay connected to avoid tickling, gently massage around the testicles. Encourage him to relax and breathe deeply to release the tension. Leisurely enjoy stroking his body, while creating anticipation.

Transition to kiss or receive pleasure yourself for a while. Let him just marinate as he looks forward to your return.

When your hands find their way back to his body again, use lots of coconut oil and continue to loosen him up. Gently play with his testicles and glide under to the perineum.  Stroke his shaft tucked inside his body. Massage his prostate from the exterior.

As trust builds, your husband will relax to your touch. Ticklish or vulnerable areas will transition and open up to touch. His muscles will release and you might even notice that his penis appears longer than before. Now he is putty in your hands.

Rather than orgasm coming from a place of desperation it will come from a place of trust. Rather than just erupting from his penis, it will flow from his core.

So help your husband learn how to relax  during sex. I mean really relax. Ease the tension from his pelvic area with the magic of your hands. So warm up the room, lube up your hands and spend some time making orgasm a full body experience for your husband.

How to Give Your Husband a Great Hand Job

Every once in a while, a hand job can blow your husband’s mind. But a great hand job requires more than just good technique. It requires a certain attitude that says, “I’ve got you. I find your penis amazing and you turn me on!” When you have the right attitude and you understand some important basics, then the world is in your hands.

I’ve Got You

When you have the confidence to take charge, your husband can relax. You need to make it very clear to him, that it’s your turn to have some fun. Determine how he sits or lays so that he can enjoy the view. Place his hands above his head or at his sides to clearly communicate you’re in charge.

Wear something that teases and tantalizes him like a black lace bra. Entice him while just out of reach. Cover your hands with coconut oil and stroke his chest while moving toward his pelvis. Lube up his entire pelvic area and smoothly stoke his thighs and around the base of his penis to get the blood flowing. Make sure that he understands he gets to relax and enjoy the view.

Show him something new. Don’t just take him on his familiar straight line ramp up to orgasm.   Reassure him that you know what you’re doing and he can trust you. Show him a path filled with teasing, twists, turns and eventually an intensity and connection that can only lead to surrender. Tune into his body and show him what great sex would feel like to you.

You’re Amazing

Our husband wants to know that his penis amazes us. To vulnerably share himself by exposing his greatest joy he must know that we treasure him. We must connect not just with our hands, but with our eyes and our soul.

Watch his penis grow using light touches, teasing or soft connected strokes. Play with his penis and watch how it responds. See how it seeks out your touch. Create a solid rhythm of strokes to generate intensity and build excitement. Gently play with his testicles and watch them ripen as arousal builds. Feel his shaft stretch for more stimulation as orgasm nears.  As his perineum throbs with pleasure, feel the fluid course through his body. Our husband’s body is God’s amazing creation. We ought to be filled with awe.

You Turn Me On

Treating your husband to a hand job creates an amazing connection that ought to turn us on. When we see how vulnerably our husband shares his body with us, it ought to touch our heart. He has to trust us when we tease him or when we touch him in a new way. When we watch his eyes on us, we realize just how much power we hold. The power to create, the power to discover, the power to love. Arousing our husband ought to arouse us. Have your husband sit up just enough to see while you straddle one of his legs. If we are connected during sex then arousal builds as we watch the other become aroused.


Use coconut oil to lubricate his penis, testicles, perineum and entire pelvic area. Play with him for a while to slowly warm him up. Alternate playing with his penis with stroking his inner thighs and pelvic area to release tension. Use his testicles to gauge when to back off stimulation and extend the experience.

The head of the penis can be highly sensitive. The shaft enjoys lots of long connected strokes. His sweet spot is the ridge of the penis, the area where his mushroom shaped head meets the shaft. Stroking past the ridge ramps things up.

Early on stroking can be playful and varied. Eventually you will want to establish some consistent patterns or rhythms that his body can get in sync with. You can always change things up, but the rhythm becomes a theme to return to over and over and build upon.

Some men enjoy gentle fondling or tugging of the testicles – but be gentle and ask for feedback. As arousal builds, support the base of his penis with your free hand. Have a towel ready for easy clean up.

Ramping Up

Many options exist for ramping up arousal – don’t just think speed. Let me share a few options…

  • Lock eye to eye and move slowly with intensity and confidence.
  • Match his yearning with the strength of your grip.
  • Hold just the base of his penis and massage his prostate through his perineum.
  • Gradually ramp up speed and pressure together in a crescendo.
  • Gradually focus the stimulation, for example change from a full hand stroking to 3 fingers to, 2 fingers, to 1 finger rounded against the thumb.
  • Gradually focus location of stimulation – change from stroking the entire shaft to stroking just past the ridge

Arousal Paths

Endless possibilities exist for arousal paths but let me share a few distinct ones.

  1. A gradual build of arousal until orgasm. The path most common for men.
  2. Build arousal, then back off for a while followed by building again to orgasm. Be careful not to frustrate him but reassure him that you have a plan. If he enjoys the ride and as you gain confidence, repeat as many times as desired until you clearly lead him to the finish.
  3. Gradually build arousal until almost at the tipping point. Fine tune stimulation to see how long he can ride the wave until he gently tumbles over.

Specific Strokes

Though mechanics are just a small part of a great hand job, below are a few ideas to get you started.

  1. Pulling Taffy – stroke his penis by pulling from the base all the way past the ridge, alternating hands.
  2. Corkscrew – a variation of pulling taffy with a gentle twisting of the hands while pulling
  3. Endless Tunnel – opposite the pulling taffy, create an endless tunnel by stroking from the head to the base, alternating hands.
  4. Ring – Make an OK sign with your thumb and pointer finger to stroke his penis. The ring creates a very focused stimulation.
  5. Full hand – The bread and butter of strokes. A full hand stroking up across the ridge and back down to the base. Pay special attention to catching his ridge as you pass by. Your free hand can be used to fondle his testicle, stroke his pelvis, or press into his perineum.
  6. Hand cross – To create a tight chamber, hold one hand vertical with your thumb out. Clasp around it palm to palm with the thumb in the v and the fingers wrapped around the side of the vertical hand. Makes sure to tip your finger back on the vertical hand so that the ridge of your palm catches the ridge of his penis.

Finishing Thoughts

When your husband finishes, strong and steady to the end. Follow his lead if he urgently asks or grabs your hand. The head of his penis will become ultra sensitive. Hold his shaft firmly or slowly milk his shaft as his muscles contract.

Hand jobs can be an incredible way to get to know your husband and to give him pleasure but mechanics are just the tip of the ice berg. Tune into feeling his body, how relaxed or tense he is. Learn to sense when his arousal builds by feeling his penis, hearing his breathing and watching his testicles. Take charge, discover new paths, enjoy the view and be amazed at God’s creation.

How to Tantalize Your Husband

I find it amusing the different ways my body catches my husband’s eye. As if I am his own personal eye candy just trying to tantalize him. Most of the time I have no idea what he’s enjoying until he tells me. Years ago, I might have felt violated, embarrassed or confused. But now I kind of love it! Maybe I need to start watching for ways to catch his eye on purpose.

Catching His Eye

This summer we were over at a friend’s house helping to build their deck. I was wore a snug V-neck shirt and sturdy jeans to work. I spent the whole day bending over to cut boards and screw in decking. That night, my husband asks, “Were you bending down just for me?” I’m like, “No, I was just building the deck.” The entire time my husband was thinking I’m giving him a special show.

A few weeks later, we were working on getting rid of the tree we pruned in our front yard. I’m sweaty and scraped up from shoving branches into the back of the van.  As we’re driving over to the recycling yard, he says to me, “I love the way the small of your back peeks out when your shirt hitches up and your pants ride a little low.” I’m thinking, “that is the last thing on my mind”.

Then last night we’re lying in bed and my husband says, “I love it when you’re getting ready for bed.” I’m like, “what do you mean?” He says, “You turn your back to me as you unhitch your bra. It’s the hottest thing ever.” I’m trying to be modest by turning my back and instead I’m tantalizing him.

Song of Songs 2:9  My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Look! There he stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, peering through the lattice.

My husband has told me many times,

“It’s not what I can see. It’s what I can almost see.”

We get to be our husband’s eye candy as he goes about his day, but it doesn’t necessarily come easily. Many of us have been impacted by men that used their eyes outside of marriage. We have a hard time believing that it’s a good thing for our husband to visually enjoy our body. Most of us also struggle with body image issues. God created us each unique and absolutely beautiful, but we have to believe Him. If you need healing in this area of your life, I encourage you to go after it.

When freedom comes then we get to have some fun with our husband’s eyes. You don’t have to dress immodestly or even necessarily seductively to do it. We just need to act confident and provide a hint of an idea. Embrace that your husband finds you sexy and allow him to imagine what he might look forward to.

Tantalize Him

We can do things to tantalize our husband’s eye. Wear a bra or panties that your husband would love to catch a peek of. Linger while you dress or undress with your back turned. While working, wear tank tops or V-Necks that support and entice. Let a trickle of sweat show the path to the promised land.  Purchase some stockings with seams up the back to wear on a hot date. Have some fun.

Alicia Florrick from the Good Wife pretty much nails the power of suggestion. Dressed in modest conservative suits, everything changes with the addition of a zipper down the front. She exudes confidence and sexiness. It is not just what your wear, it is knowing who you are.

So have some fun, tantalize your husband and see if you can catch him peering through the lattice.

The Challenges of Enjoying Oral Sex

Oral sex can be one of the sweetest ways for your husband to pleasure you but it has it’s own challenges.

Song of Songs 4:16

Awake, north wind, and come south wind!

Blow on my garden that its fragrance may spread abroad.

Let my love come into his garden and taste its choice fruits


One of the most intimate ways you can allow your husband to “know you”, is through oral sex. Your husband will see, feel, and even taste you in ways that he has never experienced before.  If you surrender and allow yourself to just receive from you husband, you will experience some of the most delicious orgasms possible.


How to Give your Husband Multiple Orgasms

Men can have multiple orgasms.


MEN can learn to have more than one orgasm.

They can learn how to have an orgasm without an ejaculation. The orgasm will feel different without the ejaculation, but it will still feel awesome. The man will maintain his erection and then can go on to have another orgasm with an ejaculation.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be the best lover in the world for my husband.

Working to help a husband experience male multiple orgasm is a great way to learn all kinds of things about his body.


Is Giving Oral Sex to Your Husband Arousing for You?

Men love oral sex but I think their enjoyment is amplified multiple times when we enjoy it too – and I don’t just mean because we like to give them oral sex. I mean we enjoy it – like it turns us on and it arouses us. When we can orgasm while giving them oral sex – well that might just be one of their ultimate enjoyments.  So how do we get to the place that we not only love giving oral sex, but that we find giving oral sex arousing?

If you want ideas on giving your husband oral sex, then please take a look at my articles How to Drive Your Man Crazy, How to Love Your Husband with Oral Sex and His Amazing Body.

This article is going to focus on how to get aroused while giving your husband oral sex.


Frenulum Orgasm – A New Delight for Him

If you want your husband to experience something completely new, try giving him a frenulum orgasm. It will not only be amazing for him, but it will help him understand what it is like for you to experience a clitoral orgasm.