Getting Away

Getting Away feeds our souls.

It was important to Jesus, it is important to us as individuals, and it is important to our marriage.

Jesus made it a habit to get away by himself and pray…

Luke 5:15-16 ….vast crowds came to hear him preach and to be healed of their diseases. But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.

In the midst of busyness, serving others and feeling overwhelmed Jesus escaped to find refreshment with his Father. He knew that in order to care for others, He had to care for himself by communing with God. Jesus withdrew to quiet places where no one could find him. Places without the distraction of the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Places where no schedule existed and no phone rang. Jesus withdrew alone. He did not take his disciples – not even Peter, James or John. He knew that true communion happened when it was just Him and His father and sometimes He even spent all night praying.  I think these moments of solitude with God fed his soul so that He could pour himself out again.

Have you ever gotten away with God? Extended time, free from the noise of life, where just you and God exist. It might have been a solitude retreat, a day in bed, 15 minutes of quiet or a hike through the woods. God speaks so clearly when the noise is gone. Time with God leaves me refreshed to be a better mom, wife and friend,  and I could not do ministry without it.

If intimacy in marriage mirrors intimacy with Christ…

Then it is important for us to have times where we as a couple withdraw to a quiet place to commune.



I have this friend that prays,

“God help me to be interruptible.”

She wants to live so in tune to God, that if He calls her to stop and pray with someone, or help someone in need, she will do it. She will put aside her own plans, her own agenda, trust that God has something for her and step into it. It’s not an easy thing to do, to be interruptible. It takes living in a way, that you hear God throughout your day. You have to let go of control and your own agenda. It takes being flexible, and spontaneous and it takes trusting God.

If our relationship with God mirrors intimacy in marriage…

Then shouldn’t the same be true in marriage and in sex. Aren’t we supposed to be interruptible.


Do We Only Show the Presentable Parts or All of Me?

Sometimes in the church, we think in order to commune with God we need to have our life put together. It seems like nobody struggles in their marriage, with depression, with pornography or rebellious kids. If they do, they sure as heck don’t talk about it. Pretty soon we begin to believe that God only wants to know the presentable parts. When we struggle, we go into hiding and say, “God, when I have this figured out, then…” As a college kid that drank too much, church was the last place I wanted to go. I did not want to see God, talk to Him or hear from Him. I thought I needed to fix myself first, and honestly that might never have happened.


Is Your Marriage Your First Priority?

Anything and everything will get in the way of your marriage and your sex life.

  • Kids
  • Work
  • Social Media
  • Staying fit
  • Ministry
  • Keeping up with the Jones
  • Serving
  • Screen time
  • Chores
  • Insecurities
  • Expectations

In the same way, anything and everything will get in the way of your relationship with God.


Do We Settle for Boring?

I think one of the most powerful messages that Satan uses to destroy marriage is the simple lie that …

Marriage is supposed to be boring.

or that…

Sex in marriage is just going to be boring.


Intimacy with ChristsMirrors Intimacy in Marriage

Over the last 6 years I have read a ton of books on sex, both secular and Christian.  As you might imagine, with a million different opinions on sex, it’s hard to know what to believe and what to throw out.

One of the fundamental flaws that I often see is defining sex by what comes naturally to men or women.

Writers create surveys or observe natural tendencies and prescribe how to understand each other and work around each other’s brokenness. This thinking completely ignores the fact that our understanding about sex is wrong. We have believed lies and carry that impacts us. It also takes God out of the equation.

Just because we act a certain way, does not mean that is who God wants us to be. We need to give God room to work and to change us. We have walls that need to be taken down and lies that need to be righted. Even though knowledge can be gleaned from our natural tendencies, I choose to put every idea about who God wants me to be, and what I believe about sex through a filter – God’s word. What is God’s intent for me, for my husband and for sex.

One of the most profound passages on sex in the bible is

Ephesians 5:31-32 (NIV) – “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

In essence it says that becoming one in marriage – SEX – is a mirror to becoming one with Christ. Intimacy in marriage is supposed to teach us about intimacy with Christ. And our relationship with Christ teaches us about intimacy in marriage.

You might be surprised by how many common beliefs about sex are turned on their head if you run them through this filter. So, join me for a journey of comparing “Oneness with Christ” to “Oneness in marriage” every Thursday. It is going to be an interesting ride.