Romantic Ideas for Valentines

To be honest with you, I am not a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. Maybe it is because I watched my mom try not to feel disappointed when the greatest gesture my dad could muster was buying a card at the drug store. I know it wasn’t a huge deal to my mom. She cared more that dad was a great husband – gentle, kind, loving, a good provider and absolutely steady. She understood that he grew up on a farm where a handmade shirt was an extravagant gift for Christmas. But still… I think she would have loved it if dad had splurged and gone a little crazy one day. If he had surprised her with a special date or gift that not only expressed his love and appreciation, but that made her sparkle.


With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, just hearing the word romance can make husbands retreat. The word romance can feel intangible, unattainable and like a recipe for disaster. Valentine’s Day can seem commercialized and forced. Romantic gestures come from a place of expectation rather than a spontaneous expression from the heart. But Valentine’s Day can also act as an impetus to give romance another try. To go for it, and hope to surprise our spouse and communicate, “You are amazing and I’d go to the moon for you!”

So while the world spends millions of dollars on chocolates, cards, and flowers, what can you do to romance your spouse?

To help you understand what creates romance check out my post to help demystify what define what creates romance. And ladies, don’t think husbands need to always carry the responsibility for romance. Your husband wants to feel special too. So what can you do to tell your spouse, “I know what makes you smile, what makes you purr, what makes your heart beat?” I thought I’d share a few ideas from class and ask you to share your own to inspire each other.

Romantic Ideas from Class

A wife fulfilled her husband’s fantasy of having sex in the car by planning a private location, secretly packing the needed supplies, and courageously going for it.

A husband secretly brought his wedding album on an overnight getaway. He and his wife spent time looking at pictures and recalling fond memories from their wedding day.

A wife surprised her husband by taking the kids to a friend’s house overnight. When he arrived home, his wife treated him to a candlelight dinner on a warm blanket wearing his favorite outfit.

One husband laid out a beautiful dress for his wife on the bed with a note that read, “Can’t wait to spend the night dancing with you in my arms. Get changed and wait for me here.” 20 minutes later he showed up wearing a suit and tie and a mixed CD of their favorite songs. They danced in their room until the clothes started coming off.

Share Ideas

Start thinking about your own romantic ideas and share them to encourage others.  It might be something that you have done in the past or that you hope to do in the future. It can be something big, or something small. As an added incentive, anyone that shares an idea by Friday will have their name entered in a drawing for a free copy of my book Awaken Love: The Truth About Sex that will Transform Your Marriage.

Don’t  forget the ebook version of Awaken Love is on sale  this week. Help spread the word and offer an amazing resource for couples to create the intimate sex life they want. 

What’s underneath counts

bras-and-underwear-247x300I’ve been spending quite a bit of time down in my basement lately working on a couple of woodworking jobs that I picked up. I have to be honest, it’s not pretty.  When I’m dressed to work, usually it’s old tennis shoes, a pair of paint covered over sized jeans so that I can bend over without the moon coming out, an old long sleeved work t-shirt and a disgusting woodworking smock on top. Sexy is the last thing that I feel.

Our clothes affect how we feel. They can give us the vibe of feeling hot and somehow it leads us to think about sex a little more during the day. Clothes that feel good on our skin, can make us more aware of touch and just how good it feels to be touched. Colors can set the mood. How many of us have a little black dress? Black is sexy, our husbands know it. It is their number one color for us to wear in lingerie.

So what do I do on those days when practicality calls for me to wear something less that desirable? I make sure I have on underwear that makes me feel sexy. Sexy starts with what we know about ourselves and not what  anyone else can see. It flows from the inside out. In “The Good Girl’s guide to Bad Girl Sex”, one of the first exercises she assigns, is to ruthlessly go through your underwear drawer and get rid of all your old rags. You know the ones I’m talking about; the stained ones, the battered ones, the ones left over from when you were pregnant. Clear it out. Don’t keep any of it unless you would want to be wearing it when the sexiest man alive (hopefully your husband) seductively undresses you. Then go get somethings that makes you feel great. Things that feel good next to your skin, that show your curves, and that look beautiful.


Opportunity Knocks

opportunity-knocksSometimes I wonder where my day goes. Life is a whirlwind of church, kids, bills, laundry, cooking and work. It is very easy to feel overwhelmed and pretty soon,  I can feel like I am not running my life, but it is running me.  On March 14th from 7-9 pm at Plymouth Covenant Church, Tiffany Felty will teach a class called Opportunity Knocks, and I would encourage you to attend. She will talk about how we can intentionally make time to connect as a couple, as well as how to grab those moments that are not planned, but can make all the difference.

I also want to share a short article that a friend shared with me about marriage and this topic at

I am convinced that how we greet each other can have a huge impact on the attitude that fills the house for the rest of the night. How your husband is greeted can either tell him, “why aren’t you doing more to help, it’s me against you”, or “I am so glad you are home. We are in this together.”  This week’s mission is to greet your husband so that he knows, “I am so glad you are home. We are in this together.”  What does that mean in practical terms? Eye contact, connecting physically in some way, relaxing into each other, and focus yourself on him. See if it makes a difference.

It Begins with a Kiss

Song of Songs 1:2 Let him smother me with kisses from his mouth, for your love is better than wine.

It begins with a kiss.

I was talking to my husband the other day about kissing. You know there are times when he is kissing me and it’s nice and all, but I have this feeling that he is not completely there. And there are other times, when all I can say is “wow”. It just kind of takes my breath away. Those times when he knows I am sad or upset or just needs some extra loving, he can kiss me and every thing just melts away. It is as if he has lifted the smudge from my body and my mind and it makes everything better.

So what is different? He is in tune to me and what I am going through. He is totally focused on me. He lingers long enough until he can tell he has made a difference. It begins with a kiss.

Your mission this week is to kiss your husband like you mean it. Linger a little longer, tune into him and transport him to another place. It will make a world of difference