Your wife has been learning about how much you are turned on by visual stimulation. In order for your wife to have the confidence to visually share her body with you, she needs to know that you find her absolutely beautiful, inside and out. Your last assignment was about using your words to affirm her.
Did you know that women are typically aroused in two ways: by words and by touch? We cannot over emphasize how important non-sexual physical touch is to your wife. It is important that touch takes place with no expectations of anything to follow. If physical touch takes place only as a precursor to sex, then pretty soon she will avoid all physical touch because she doesn’t want to lead you on. Yet non-sexual physical touch is exactly what she needs to feel loved. Also, luckily, non-sexual touch is a great way to create anticipation. Just keep touching her and by the time you do initiate sex, she will be more ready and more responsive. So here is your challenge:
Make a conscious effort to touch your wife in non-sexual ways throughout the day.
Give her long gentle kisses in the morning before work. Give her a foot rub as you watch TV. Hold her hand as you walk to church and during worship. Spend some time smooching in the car as you wait for your kids to be done with soccer practice. Whatever it is, make sure that you are focused on your wife, and that there is no expectation that it will lead to sex. Your wife needs to be touched, and she needs to be touched often.
Ruth and Melanie