Stepping Into Freedom

Before my awakening, I had no idea how much freedom God wanted me to experience in our marriage bed. Though we explored more than missionary position, I felt uneasy expressing myself. At times I reined myself in out of fear of going too far or losing control. Where were the guardrails? Could we enjoy what the world enjoys? What was okay and what was not? How much pleasure was too much pleasure?

There does seem to be this connection between overindulgence and sin. You can drink one glass of wine, but ten? Well, that’s a different matter. So, we hold ourselves back and only allow ourselves to enjoy sex this much or to be that free. We safeguard ourselves by disassociating with anything that has a connection to what the world does.

Is it possible that we are holding ourselves back from exactly what we need in marriage? Maybe the freedom that goes on outside of marriage is what God wants us to enjoy within marriage.  God wants to give us a glimpse of His original intention of being naked and unashamed. Have we let the world’s corruption of sex keep us from receiving an amazing gift from Him? This gift is so powerful that it will literally transform our marriages.

Steps of Change

Change did not come overnight for me. As I recognized lies that I believed, I started trusting my husband. When I understood God’s design, I measured sex by whether we were getting to know each other. Dealing with my baggage released a newness in me. Stepping into freedom was both terrifying and exhilarating.

It was not about trying to compete with the world. I wanted to claim the freedom God intended for us. I cared far more about connecting with my husband than about creating a show.

When I wanted my husband to watch me during sex, it wasn’t an attempt to create a pornographic scene for him. I simply wanted to maintain connection through eye contact. I wanted him to know who I was rather than just enjoy stimulation. This was me opening myself up to him.

When I performed a strip tease for my husband, I was not trying to compete with strip clubs. I wanted to put a stake in the ground that said, “I want to be free”—to share my naked body, to entice, and to move sensually. This was me, no one else—gangly arms, big feet, droopy breasts, and a C-section scar. Though terrified, I wanted to give my husband permission to feast his eyes on me.

Most of us don’t immediately go from years of believing and behaving like sex is a duty to embracing all that God has to offer. You might even feel overwhelmed by the divide between who you are and who God wants you to be. It’s okay, sister. I am right there with you. Change happens one small step at a time. Stepping out into the water, grounded in truth, and steadied by our heavenly Father, we tiptoe in. As we get more and more comfortable, we wade in a little deeper.

But we have to take a step.

(Excerpt from Awaken Love: The Truth About Sex that will Transform Your Marriage)


Maybe your first step is picking up a copy of Awaken Love

Discover the Freedom God Wants for You

Until Feb 14th buy the paperback for just $9.99 (normally $14.99)

Get the ebook  (normally $9.99) for

$0.99 on Feb 4-5 

$3.99 on Feb 6-7 

$6.99 on Feb 8-9 

Tell your friends and don’t wait.

Take a step towards discovering freedom!

How the Awaken-Love Class Opened My Eyes to Sex God’s Way

Today’s guest post is by Sharelle Guyton who attended the women’s Awaken-Love study earlier this year. Sharelle shared thoughtful insights during the study and we are excited for you to hear some of her thoughts here as well.

My husband and I were no strangers to sex when we got married. This area of sin is something we struggled with individually before we met and exacerbated over the course of our dating relationship. During the last two years of dating, we got serious about being more obedient to God’s Word, which meant no sex or sexual activity until we got married. We were not perfect at this, but still never stopped trying.

After Marriage

After we got engaged, we were very curious about what sex would be like after marriage, when it was no longer  a sin. We had a very short 6-month engagement and a small intimate wedding. As we were aiming to be more like Christ, we decided that was the best way to stay focused on Him and follow through with our commitment to sexual purity.

I was blessed to be able to take the Awaken-Love class after only three months of marriage. The results of applying the insight and wisdom from the course have far exceeded my expectations and imagination!

Thinking in hindsight about the years we both struggled to defeat sexual sin, the wisdom from the course was clear how interconnected it was to our disobedience to the will of God. As I learned about using intimacy with God as a model of intimacy with my husband, it was evident I was off target with my intimacy with God as a single woman. In the same way God is a model for my sexuality married, He was also a model for my sexuality single.

God’s Word

What struck me about the course is that the Word of God directly informs everything we need to know about having a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship with our husbands. The freedom that comes with the gift of understanding the goodness of God’s intention and purposes for sex are powerful.

My husband and I have experienced such healing from our past sexual sin because we know the truth of our identity in Christ. The opportunity to begin our sexual journey as a married couple with the foundation and principles of this class is something that we will use throughout the entire course of our marriage. We cannot thank you enough.

-Sharelle Guyton

Wanted: A Man’s Perspective

The church is filled with studies to help men navigate a world that is saturated with sex and keep their eyes pure. Are there any studies to help husbands be intimate with their wife? Media and pornography are streaming images that portray techniques that work for men only. Sex is portrayed as a physical need and real intimacy, as God intended it to be, is absent. There are few messages about God’s design for sex. I believe the church needs to get involved in helping men know how to connect and love their wives in very tangible ways.

(more…)

BACK FROM VACATION

2015-08-26 16.11.03After 2 weeks of traveling around Copenhagen, Norway and Iceland with my husband and parents, I am getting back in the saddle and writing. So let’s just put a few thoughts out there….

I love vacation! Seeing the world with my husband and holding hands as we walk the cobblestone streets. I love taking a day off and ordering room service and not exiting our room until noon. I love dressing up for my husband and watching his jaw drop. It is so fun to have sex in different beds, in different rooms with different views.  I love waking in the middle of the night because we have not adjusted to the time zone, rolling right into great sex and then back to sleep. Vacations are great!!

(more…)

NEW DIRECTIONS

Ruth BuezisLast week I flew to Texas for five amazing days.  God has rocked my world and given me a new partner in ministry, Melanie Lloyd. He has shifted my focus and redirected my energy to equipping other women to teach. God has affirmed my calling to share His truth about sex. I am so excited my head is spinning with ideas and I have a smile that won’t go away.

Visiting Melanie

My trip started in Austin with a visit to Melanie.  At the last minute, I had decided to pack my journal because I thought sharing it might be a great way for Melanie to know me and my journey. When she picked me up at the airport, I felt a little embarrassed but when I told her, she just lit up in laughter.” I brought my journal with me today too, I don’t know why”. Just another confirmation from God that He wants us to partner.

Saturday morning we woke early to head to church for the women’s event. Her church had arranged a time to share with the women about intimacy since they will be offering Awaken Love this fall. Originally they thought about 40 women would attend. Then the numbers grew to 65, and then 95. Saturday morning 150 women arrived.

Speaking

I have never spoken to close to that many women and never imagined that I would. Feeling strangely calm we prayed and prepared.

God had given me two specific directions for the morning.

  1. Use razor sharp words with no extra distractions.
  2. Encourage women to take off their filthy rags.

I am not sure that I have ever felt so free during a talk to really connect with those listening. I remember at one point seeing a woman with tears streaming down her face and feeling that God was speaking directly to her.

After the talk the women broke into groups of 2-3 women and dug deep as they shared about their own marriage. Women shed tears, laid  hands and prayed.  As we came back together I shared about Awaken Love and then fielded question. We really can respectfully talk about sex out loud in church.  That night 50 women signed up as interested in taking the class and Melanie’s church was left wondering what to do.

(more…)

REMEMBER

I just reached the three year anniversary of teaching Awaken Love classes to wives and it has me feeling more than a little emotional and sentimental. We were sharing today in bible study how important it is to look back and REMEMBER and to see how God has worked. So today, I look back and REMEMBER.

(more…)

Awaken Love Classes

People have asked, “what is your vision for Awaken Love classes,where do you see it going?”

I’m never quite sure how to answer, but over and over, I hear myself saying, “I would love for more women to start teaching classes, women from all over the place.”

(more…)