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LIVE THE SONG -Busted

I have a confession to make. …

Last year as I was writing the LIVE THE SONG series, I got to Song of Songs 6:10-12, and I totally came up empty. I had nothing. I had no idea what it meant and how to apply it so…

I left it out. I just skipped it and figured that no one would notice. But a few months later I got this email….

Hi Ruth
I have loved every one of your posts featuring Song of Songs and have read them many times over. Sad when I got the last one. I seem to be missing 6:10-12.
I have searched your blog several times and can’t seem to locate it.
Was this published? Help!
Thanks so much.

My first reaction was – how awesome that someone was actually reading Live the Song.

My second thought was – How embarrassing – Now I have to admit that I skipped a section.

So here is my best attempt…

Song of Songs 6:10-12

Friends

¹⁰Who is this that appears like the dawn,
fair as the moon, bright as the sun,
majestic as the stars in procession?

¹¹I went down to the grove of nut trees
    to look at the new growth in the valley,
to see if the vines had budded
    or the pomegranates were in bloom.
¹²Before I realized it,
    my desire set me among the royal chariots of my people.

I have to be honest…. I’m still not sure what to do with it. Sometimes when I read the Bible, I immediately know what it means. Other times, I chew on it for a while, or wrestle with it, and God gives me what I need. But sometimes, there are passages that I never understand. They are a mystery – and that’s ok. God is way beyond my comprehension and reality, and I will never understand everything about what He does or how He works.

Just because I cannot make sense of every detail of the Bible, I can make sense of part of it and I hold onto it. Don’t give up on God because you don’t understand everything about Him – ground yourself in what you do know…

He loves you
He is good
He is powerful
He is just
He redeems us
He is all knowing and we are not

Don’t give up on Song of Songs because parts of it are confusing. Take what speaks to you and put it into action. There are pictures of what intimacy looks like that are timeless.

The role of husband and wife in the marriage bed should be as equals
Stretch in using your words to express your love
Use all 5 of your senses to experience each other
Be creative and plan adventure
Insecurities of body image and feeling loved are a battle for women
Husbands adoring eyes and words build their wife’s confidence
God blesses our marriages and our marriage bed

Don’t give up on your spouse because you do not understand everything about them. Ground your self in what you do know…

God has made the two of you into one
Your spouse is broken just like you are
Your spouse cannot meet all your needs
Your spouse needs grace and love and encouragement to be the man or woman that God created them to be

So this week – in honor of being “Busted”

Read a passage in the Bible that you don’t understand with your spouse and ask them for insight or ideas.
Share something with your spouse that you don’t understand about them and reaffirm your commitment and love
Play cops and robbers in bed!!!

by Ruth Buezis February 25, 2016

LIVE THE SONG – EVERY DELICACY

Song of Songs 7:13

She

³The mandrakes send out their fragrance,

and at our door is every delicacy,
both new and old,
that I have stored up for you, my beloved.

Is every delicacy at your door – both new and old.

Having a great sex life is a journey. It is a journey of discovering how our bodies work and how our spouses bodies work. It is a process of building trust and getting comfortable enough to communicate our desires and being bold enough to share our passion. It is a journey of recognizing baggage that has affected us, asking for God’s help in dealing with it and claiming His redemption in our life. It is a lifetime of exploring each other and mining the deepest parts of our lover.

(more…)

by Ruth Buezis November 19, 2015

LIVE THE SONG – MY FRIEND

Song of Songs 5: 15-16

Her

¹⁵His legs are pillars of marble
    set on bases of pure gold.
His appearance is like Lebanon,
    choice as its cedars.
¹⁶His mouth is sweetness itself;
    he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved, this is my friend,
    daughters of Jerusalem

This is my beloved, this is my friend.

Do you treat your husband like you do your friends?

(more…)

by Ruth Buezis September 17, 2015

LIVE THE SONG – POLISHED IVORY

Song of Songs 5:10-14

She

¹⁰My beloved is radiant and ruddy,
    outstanding among ten thousand.
¹¹His head is purest gold;
    his hair is wavy
    and black as a raven.
¹²His eyes are like doves
    by the water streams,
washed in milk,
    mounted like jewels.
¹³His cheeks are like beds of spice
    yielding perfume.
His lips are like lilies
    dripping with myrrh.
¹⁴His arms are rods of gold
    set with topaz.
His body is like polished ivory
    decorated with lapis lazuli.

How many of us really look at our husbands bodies?

(more…)

by Ruth Buezis September 10, 2015

LIVE THE SONG – FAINT WITH LOVE

Song of Songs 5:4-7

She

⁴My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening;
    my heart began to pound for him.
⁵I arose to open for my beloved,
    and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with flowing myrrh,
    on the handles of the bolt.
⁶I opened for my beloved,
    but my beloved had left; he was gone.
    My heart sank at his departure.^[k]
I looked for him but did not find him.
    I called him but he did not answer.
⁷The watchmen found me
    as they made their rounds in the city.
They beat me, they bruised me;
    they took away my cloak,

those watchmen of the walls!
⁸Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you—
if you find my beloved,
what will you tell him?
Tell him I am faint with love.

This is a dream about lost opportunities – about regret.

(more…)

by Ruth Buezis August 13, 2015

LIVE THE SONG – MUST I?

Song of Songs 5:2-3

She

²I slept but my heart was awake.
    Listen! My beloved is knocking:
“Open to me, my sister, my darling,
    my dove, my flawless one.
My head is drenched with dew,
    my hair with the dampness of the night.”
³I have taken off my robe—
    must I put it on again?
I have washed my feet—
    must I soil them again?

REALLY??? Are you kidding me? It’s the middle of the night. I’m tired. I was just falling asleep.

This is going to ruin me for tomorrow, I will be so wiped out in the morning. I’ll be cranky and ugly and nasty if I don’t get some sleep. How can you even think of such a thing? You are so inconsiderate. You think I am going to hop up at a moments notice just because you happen to be in the mood.

(more…)

by Ruth Buezis July 30, 2015

THE LIES YOUR WIFE BATTLES

While most men make it to marriage expecting that “Sex is going to be the best thing ever”, most women have different expectations. We are bombarded with lies that set up barriers to enjoying sex in marriage. In order for a husband to empathize and encourage his wife to live in God’s fullness, it is helpful to understand the lies but also to realize that his actions can either enforce the lie or counteract them. Understand the lies your wife battles so that you can help her embrace the truth about sex.

Below are a list of the most common lies that women believe about sex. Will you help her battle them?

(A continuation of what I share in my men’s class, “What in the world is she thinking?”)

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by Ruth Buezis June 15, 2015

THE SWITCH – How to Turn On Your Wife’s Desire

Women have this giant toggle switch and if it is turned “OFF” you will get absolutely nowhere. You might touch her exactly the right way, or say the perfect things, but her body does not respond. She acts like ice. Sometimes the switch will turn to “OFF” when she feels insecure about whether you really love her. She may test you to see if you will give up on her. If you pass the test the switch can flip to the “ON” position, and in an instant she can open up. So what does a woman need to feel to have her switch turned “ON”? (more…)

by Ruth Buezis June 8, 2015

THE NEXT GENERATION

I probably know too much…

I hear the pain of a bride that saved herself until marriage, met the man of her dreams, fell in love, and fully gave herself to him. I hear the pain of finding out her young husband isn’t all that interested in sex because years ago he had been seduced by the images in pornography. He would rather spend time with a screen than learn how to love his wife.

I hear the pain of a young mom once again answering to the effects of sexual abuse at the hands of her uncle. She thought she had dealt with it, but the pain in her voice and tears on her face say something else. Now with young children, the burden of protecting them rips open her wound in a new place.

I hear the cries of a generation growing up where living together before marriage is the answer to growing up in a broken home. Marriage is reserved as a capstone after experiencing as much of life as you can before settling down to the boring regimen of marriage to raise a family.

I hear the regret of the girl that succumbed to the power of turning a man’s head by using her body to feel loved, desired and needed. Struggling to find freedom with the man that God has now bound her to in marriage, she repents and asks God to erase the memories and make her new.

I hear the pain of growing up in a generation where watching porn as a couple is normal. Instead of making sex better by increasing intimacy, you make sex better by adding some new thrill or even person.

I hear the pain of living in a world where even pictures from phones can be photo shopped to remove your wrinkles and blemishes. No longer are you just comparing yourself to the stars in the magazines, but to your friends posting on Facebook.

(more…)

by Ruth Buezis May 13, 2015

How to Help Your Wife Orgasm During Intercourse

It takes two to tango – and it takes two to work towards having an orgasm during intercourse. My husband was a huge part of my learning to have an orgasm during intercourse. He gave me permission and encouraged me to take control of the movement so that I could figure out what felt good. His increased control of ejaculation allowed me plenty of time to experiment. He learned my orgasm triggers so that he could use them at just the right time. Most importantly, he made sure that I was never left hanging after intercourse so that every experience was positive. A sensitive, caring husband can make intercourse enjoyable whether their wife orgasms or not.

Although this article could be helpful for anyone, it is part of a series “How to have an orgasm during intercourse”. If you are working towards that goal, please make sure that you read my previous articles The Big Question, His and Her Kegels ,Talk about What?,Flexibility Training,and Different Pathways

(more…)

by Ruth Buezis March 30, 2015

Tag: christian marriage

LIVE THE SONG -Busted

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LIVE THE SONG – EVERY DELICACY

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LIVE THE SONG – MY FRIEND

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LIVE THE SONG – POLISHED IVORY

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LIVE THE SONG – FAINT WITH LOVE

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LIVE THE SONG – MUST I?

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THE LIES YOUR WIFE BATTLES

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THE SWITCH – How to Turn On Your Wife’s Desire

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THE NEXT GENERATION

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How to Help Your Wife Orgasm During Intercourse

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Tag: christian marriage

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